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This Contest Really Sucks...Blood

This has been the year of the vampire. Twilight has all the tween girls (and some adults) aflutter; True Blood showed us that vampires can be southern fried and sexy; and The Vampire Diaries proved that soap operas and the supernatural make a rather alluring combination. Rounding out this year's fixation on undead bloodsuckers is The Vampire’s Assistant.

Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant is an upcoming movie based on the book series The Saga of Darren Shan by Darren Shan. It stars John C. Reilly, Willem Dafoe and in what may be one of the most twisted pieces of casting all year, Salma Hayek as a bearded lady.

It’s the story of a teenager who unknowingly breaks a 200-year-old truce between two warring factions of vampires. He is pulled into the fantastic life of misunderstood sideshow freaks and other creatures of the night.

Sounds kinda cool, right? (But really, they had me at John C. Reilly.)

Check out the trailer:

I'm happy to announce that some fine folks from the movie are sponsoring a contest here at Offsprung. The prize package up for grabs includes a $50 Fandango gift card, a youth backpack, t-shirt and locker mirror, as well as a copy of The Vampire's Assistant and Other Tales from the Cirque Du Freak by Darren Shan.

Since the movie is about the circus and sideshow attractions, I want to know—If you were to run away and join the circus or a sideshow, what would you do and why?

Leave a comment with your answer and I will pick one winner. Deadline for entries is October 23rd.

Many thanks to the people at Big Honcho Media and the makers of The Vampire’s Assistant for this giveaway.

Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant is in theaters October 23rd. It's rated PG-13 and is recommended for ages 6th grade and older.

Tags: contest, movies

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Comment by ks on October 12, 2009 at 7:43am: I've got nothing.

But that does look like a fun movie.

Comment by Herasmus B. Dragon on October 12, 2009 at 7:49am: I'd probably end up cleaning up after the elephants because I'm neither graceful nor acrobatic in the least, I don't do magic, and I don't have any unusual body adaptations.

Comment by Kiwi on October 12, 2009 at 8:27am: If you were to run away and join a sideshow I'd be the tattooed lady.

My stage costume would consist of a halter top, a brightly colored tutu, and a pair of Iron Fist Monster Wrapped Platform Heels.

I've always wanted to get more visible tattoos (my current career path doesn't allow it) and this gig would be perfect.

Tattoos and a tutu? It doesn't get much better than that.

Comment by Ylimemagic on October 12, 2009 at 9:26am: Actually, Reeling, I completely agree with you that they had me at John C. Reilly.

I'd be the exotic animal trainer. I mean, I'm half way there with the daycare. And I've worked as a lion and bear trainer before. I would be sure to treat the animals humanely and have a great sequined costume.

And, hopefully, I wouldn't be munched by a big kitty.

Comment by GGG on October 12, 2009 at 9:36am: stamps foot. damn it kiwi took mine. except i could be that now. sigh

ok, i'd like to be in the flying trapeze! b/c goodness knows i don't have the coordination for that...

Comment by zenmom on October 12, 2009 at 10:21am: I just watched the trailer for this last night. It looks really interesting!

Hmmm, circus or sideshow ... honestly, I've had a fascination with the culture ever since I read Twilight Eyes by Dean Koontz (If you haven't? Do. Good read.) But I'm just don't have any talents interesting enough to qualify.

I'd love to be an exotic animal trainer - but I'd probably just get eaten.

I think learning to juggle would be fun - but I have the hand-eye coordination of a near-sited hedgehog.

It would be cool to be a knife thrower or sharpshooter - but I'm pretty sure someone would end up in the ER. A lot. And it would probably be me.

Ditto with the frequent flyer miles at the ER if I tried to something graceful like trapeze or tightrope walker.

I'm not funny enough to be a clown, pretty enough to dance half-nekkid with snakes, or tattooed enough for the freakshow ... and I'm not willing to become hairy enough to be the bearded lady.

I guess that just leaves Ringmaster.

But hey, that fits. I mean, as the working mom of two boys, I'm already halfway there, right? I manage all kinds of dangerous and hilarious activities - some even involving wild animals! - every day, anyway.

:)

Comment by Surfer Jay on October 12, 2009 at 10:59am: I would run the ring toss booth. That way I could make every kid a winner by default......it would be my way of sticking it to the ring toss guild for making those dam games impossible to win.

Comment by CrazyPlateFace on October 12, 2009 at 11:30am: I would be a double-freak: I would be the Amazing Bearded, Penised, and Testicled Lady. Maybe that's a triple-freak. I'm not sure.

Comment by Piebrothersmomma on October 12, 2009 at 11:57am: GG - you and Kiwi could be the tatooed twins. :)

Comment by kanachick on October 12, 2009 at 12:51pm: I'm so fucking tired of vampires. It was like a few years ago when you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting a wizard story. Ugh.

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