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School

NB has been through her first couple days of school now and we are all struggling to adjust. The getting up early and early bed times and all is just the beginning.

The first day there was some sort of mix-up with her lunch. She didn't end up bringing her lunch box to the lunch room and ate school lunch instead. Then she ate her lunch at snack time. I had a really hard time trying to figure out from NB what had happened to cause the mix-up as she just wasn't very clear and also I think maybe fabricating some details because she thought she'd get in trouble or something. It was very frustrating for me, because I sent a note in her "return to teacher" folder about where her snack was packed and everything.

The school drop-off/pick-up deal is set up in such a way as to make it impossible for you to talk to the teachers. The line has to be continually moving and you're not allowed to park and walk over to pick up your child. You are just supposed to drive by and pause while they open the door and throw your kid in.

I am having a REALLY hard time relinquishing control. I don't like not knowing what she is doing or getting into. Just two days in and I'm already aware of how many things I "micro control" at home, that now I don't get to do. I'm not comfortable with it at all and feel like I'm floundering. Part of me is dying to call the teacher or send another note to try get some more information, but at the same time, I don't want to be "THAT" mom. On the other hand, I don't want to seem unconcerned as a parent about her behavior. It's so frustrating. NB just isn't nearly talkative enough (go figure, the one time I need for her to be) to satisfy my questions. I guess it's probably really good for both of us that I can't be a fly on the wall in the classroom and that this is all just part of the big adjustment.

Oh and then they send home this behavior report at the end of each day. The page has three faces: Happy, Straight, and Frowny to indicate different levels of behavior. Anything not a happy face comes with a number attatched to it standing for different things your kid gets in trouble for. Yesterday, she came home with a straight face and a 1 for "not listening to teacher instructions." I'm guessing this has something to do with the lunch mix up. Today, she ate her lunch and snack in the right places at the right times, but still came home with a straight face. She got another 1 and also a number 2 for "talking too much." This is just not nearly enough information for me.

I know, I KNOW these are really minor issues, but I'm still kind of disappointed. All of my aquaintences with kids just starting school are raving all over about their well-behaved smiley faced gems. It's not even that I feel like she isn't doing well. I figured the adjustment to that sort of environment was just normal for most kids, and I feel like NB is a really good kid. I'm dissappointed that her teacher wasn't one of the ones that partcipated in the summer program NB attended. I had gotten a really good feel for them and had the chance to talk them. I don't feel like I know anything about NB's teacher other than she looks like a 12 year old. Even at orientation, we didn't get to really talk to her, so I'm not sure how she copes with a kid who isn't all smiley faces all the time. Does she have a sense of humor about it? Or is she getting frustrated?

So yeah, we're all adjusting and learning here. Hopefully things will begin to settle in soon.

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Comment by Kristi on August 10, 2010 at 8:58pm: Took my G to Kindergarten orientation today. Was shocked when the teacher said, "She's a lively girl, lots of energy. You might want to work on her learning her address and phone number. And she had a lot of trouble with her birthday. She just kept saying it was near her Daddy's birthday." G knows our home phone, her grandparent's phone, our address and ALL our birthdays. Is it wrong that I wanted to smack the foul-breathed woman when she patted my arm and said, "Don't worry Mom. A lot of kids don't know the information before they come to Kindergarten."? My G is an energetic, fast thinking kid who needs to take a run before we do anything.....I have a feeling Kindergarten is going to be a BIG adjustment. And those other parents who keep going on and on about their kids doing everything right are fibbing. No kid is a smiley- face-kid all the time.

Comment by Mommy Monster on August 11, 2010 at 4:41am: Can you set up a conference with her? We can do that anytime we want. We also have all their e-mail addresses.

Comment by wookie on August 11, 2010 at 6:04am: That does sound fustrating.

On another note, the adjustment to kindergarten is huge. Many lovely, bright children cannot tell you jack or squat about their day for the first couple of months. Others will not "perform on command" those things like ABC's, phone numbers, etc. until they have a chance to warm up and be more comfortable.

Another weird thing is that a child can be one person for you at home and a completely different human for their teacher. Sometimes this works out well, other times it's the opposite. So anything you think you know about your kid? Take it with a grain of salt. The teacher isn't some foul-breathing dragon who can't possibly know how to put her own pants on... he or she is reporting what she has or has not seen your child do. And they've got a hell of a lot to keep track of. I don't know how these people make it through the day without a bottle of gin.

Comment by kanachick on August 11, 2010 at 6:41am: It's not a competition.

And...yes...this is a big adjustment for everyone - you and your kids. And yes...they may not display their brilliance for the first little while. And..kids behave differently when you're not around. All of these things are true.

Also..she'll survive and so will you. By all means call the teacher and ask about snack - she's a kindergarten teacher so she's totally used to parents having issues with "loss of control". The more information you can give them to help them the better - stuff like "my child needs a lot of movement to feel better" or "she may be unsure about routines for a while"

Of course...my kids went to kindergarten with my footprint on their backs "get out of here, kid! We've spent the last 5 years together and it's time for us to start seeing other people!"

Comment by Gumbo Momma on August 11, 2010 at 1:24pm: *laughs*, Kanachick!

I know the teacher isn't a moron or anything, I just wish they gave more information, but then I suppose they would never have time for anything else. I would just feel better if I had the chance to talk to her a bit.

I've vented and subsequently relaxed a little bit since writing this blog, and NB had a really good day today. I will admit it: "Haih... I have a tendency to over-react!"

I know all of what all of you are saying is true, I guess maybe I just needed to hear it again. Thank you all for the input.

Comment by StitchyWench on August 11, 2010 at 5:09pm: I cried a lot and drank every night the first week of kindergarten - no really, I did. When my first went to Kindergarten, it was only half day mind you - so she was gone like 4 hours total, I literally sobbed for about 30 minutes. I couldn't walk by her bedroom when she was gone because it made me cry for a full week.

It does get better. My girl is going to go to middle school in a few weeks - a middle school that is also a high school combined (550 artsy kids). I'm not even sweating it, just totally excited for her.

Comment by Gumbo Momma on August 12, 2010 at 5:11am: SW- It is so WIERD that she isn't here all day! Between her starting school and Mr. C walking all over now, I've had a good cry or two myself.

School

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