An irreverent, inclusive, alternative parenting community

Richly Garbed

Welcome to the relaunch of Offsprung's product blog! The original Meconium, written by this guy way back when, had the following mission:

Your baby comes into this world with nothing, and the world then attempts to overcompensate by offering an unending parade of crap, causing the dreaded Babies R Us Breakdown. Should you purchase the new stroller with built-in bottle warmer, or spend that money on a weekend in Vegas? Meconium (Latin for the crap that comes with your baby) will tell you when to buy and when to double down.

We hope to live up to those high standards. We are looking for products, news, information and hilarity that may be as useful to parents as the blog name suggests. We are not not necessarily looking for bad, just for funny. We may on occasion do a serious review or give out useful information, but don't count on it, it's probably an accident. Now on to our first products.

Would you like to cover yourself and your kids in new ways? Determined to stand out and be noticed? You're in luck, thanks to the nice people on the internet. First off, cute little Iceland hopes you'll bail them out of their financial crisis by paying $95.00 for this:

Fortunately they are NOT available in all white, so you don't have to worry about Greenpeace whisking away your seal-garbed brood for safe keeping. They are also available for the whole family, as advertised by this tragic tale of loss.

If you'd like to spend a little more on something that looks like a Snuggie, but prefer something a little more Morlock-y, this sack might do you right:

Apparently made for oddly conjoined twins, this gray papoosed number will work great at Halloween, too!

If any Offsprung members spot a good product or want to contribute a post, please message Meconium from the profile page.

Tags: Costumes, Decisions you might regret, Papoose, Sack clothes

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Comment by Herasmus B. Dragon on April 9, 2010 at 9:03am: Oh dear God, the assault on my eyes from that Icelandic page!

Comment by Alan on April 9, 2010 at 9:08am: I may need to get a beard cap.

Comment by Mamawho on April 9, 2010 at 9:28am: Alan, that's a balaclava with a mustache. I love it.

The seal things are disturbing.

Comment by kommishoner on April 9, 2010 at 9:29am: I love that the twosome blanket and the virtue blanket (which "remind[s] us to be virtuous") are next to one another. One makes the other somewhat difficult.

Comment by Piebrothersmomma on April 9, 2010 at 9:50am: "Comment by Mamawho 18 minutes ago
Alan, that's a balaclava with a mustache. I love it."

I kept reading that as 'baklava' and was just not getting it.

Comment by The Oracle on April 9, 2010 at 9:54am: Oh, but kommishoner, we are assured that "each individual can interpret [the Virtue blanket] in his or her own way." Also, that is one of the best product descriptions I've ever read.

Also, Alan, if you get the beard cap, I will pretend not to know you when we're out in public. And perhaps even when we're in the privacy of our own home.

Comment by DonnaKat on April 9, 2010 at 10:12am: If the beard cap wasn't $80 I would have to buy a few as Christmas gifts. They are hilarious.

Comment by kommishoner on April 9, 2010 at 10:29am: "The Virtue Blanket comes ready for use. You will not need to embroider it in order for it to have a positive effect on your marriage or partnership and remind you to be virtuous."

Well phew. I was wondering where I'd fit all that embroidering in.

Comment by hermit crab on April 9, 2010 at 11:03am: I love that baby seal thing. I want to make one.

In the baby-transformed-to-animal mode, I want to make a set of these too.

Comment by Mamawho on April 9, 2010 at 11:03am: PBM - at a pastry shop, GirlWho exclaimed "Look, Mommy! Balaclava!" So, you're not alone. :)

Richly Garbed

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