Okay, now I'm kinda pissed.

Comment by Andromeda on September 11, 2011 at 10:53am

i'd be pissed too!  how does he expect you to feel when he sends you messages of "hey, i'm drunk in a fabulous foreign country with out you while chatting up the swedes?"  there were no, "hey, i'm drunk but it's not the same w/o my lovely wife."  i mean, come on dude.  no one wants to hear that their partner is having a great time while you're stuck at home doing the same hum-drum thing.

 

you do deserve a vacation.

Comment by wookie on September 11, 2011 at 11:50am

There comes a time for otherwise rational men to say "I might feel that my wife has overreacted about this (sort of thing), but since she has consistently reacted in this way for 10+ years, maybe I should just throw her a bone on this one and apologize or not do the things that hurt her feelings."

Comment by Boring User Name on September 11, 2011 at 1:51pm

I'm sorry :-(  If he's doing to do such things, he has to at least expect snark!  And it had been a long time since a rant, so I was hopeful that things were good on the AG front...

 

Is he racking up frequent flier miles or hotel points or something so that you can go someday?  Or you know, go somewhere by yourself?  

Comment by ruth on September 11, 2011 at 6:55pm

Um... what everyone else said.  :(  He sucks, and the situation sucks.  Hopefully he'll smarten up and figure out why his behavior was stupid.  I'm in a mood... want me to smack some sense into him??

 

Comment by bap2 on September 11, 2011 at 7:24pm

I am convinced now, without a shadow of a doubt, that we are married to the same man. Except my husband was in Malaga, on the beach, finishing up ONE MONTH of travel and leaving me with the 3 year old and 7 WEEK old--with the basement flooded, and the kid puking, and packing for a remodel. But it's basically the same parallel life, I'm noticing. We need to hit each other up on chat.

My husband is a complete douche. I should have looked at his jackass father before marrying him and realized that's what the future held. Yay.

Comment by mcglory13 on September 11, 2011 at 9:04pm

You do need a vacation. :) Come to Utah... there are mountains. I think the drinking is the biggest harbinger of spousal stupidity. My spouse managed to drink way too much and dig himself a giant hole on our last vacation. It took a month or so for me to forgive him.

Comment by mightyninjamom on September 11, 2011 at 9:22pm

I've gone back and read my other posts about this. Things haven't changed all that much. He's still working ungodly hours - nearly 11 every day, and then some planning and prep on weekends. He was approved to hire someone to help him back in February, and after an insane amount of time they began interviews in May. In July they denied the one good candidate he had picked. The only other person he had to choose from is still finishing up a project in Brazil, and won't be available until next month. The kids and I can deal with his absences, because when he's home, he gets some good face time in with them.

For me, it's the same, if not worse since PhD Friend moved to Virginia. I really have no one in the immediate vicinity to just get together with for lunch or coffee. Sadly, even Kiwi is about an hour away. The last two years I've been able to ignore a lot of things because I've been concentrating on getting my liver disease under control. But nothing has been resolved. It's only been put off. Sometimes, I think our sex life is the only thing keeping us together, and that's just depressing. Well, that and he can't balance a checkbook.

I'm trying to keep things going, but I think I'm on the brink of another depressive episode. It probably shouldn't surprise me that these seem to hit when the kids go back to school - the house is empty and silent all day and all I have to do is chores while I think about how I'm all by myself. Jesus, I think I really need to get back into therapy.

bap - man. Just, jesus. message me anytime.

Comment by G to the G on September 12, 2011 at 8:27am

Snark deserved. He should know better.  Like A said - it is hard to be the home...and have the hubby a way.

 

With that said - don't under estimate the sexy time keeping you connected. As someone that once went without sex in a marriage (as in 9 month stretches) it can keep you at least from killing each other. Just saying ;)

 

And now that both kids are in school full time-ish  -- it sounds like you know you need more of a distraction.  I know you've been going to the Evil Trainer but sounds like you need more... Book clubs? Back to massage therapy a few hours a week? A pool boy? (I kid. Mostly.)

Hugs to you.

Comment by mcglory13 on September 12, 2011 at 9:46am

I think GGG has a point, which I know we've discussed before. Now that the kids are in school full time, it seems like you need something that's just yours (not related to the house). Something that gets you out, with grown-ups, and gives you opportunities to text AG about the coworker you were flirting with (this last part is mostly a joke). Yeah, there are chores and it's easy enough to stay home and do them, but maybe it will be better for your mental health to have the house be a bit dirtier, the cheese a bit less homemade, and you have something to do during the day that you're more passionate about?

Comment by Diggy on September 12, 2011 at 10:08am

I will offer my services if you are looking for someone to flirt with. Although being he's met me, he'll know you could do better.

And about the other stuff, to me it might be a bit of an overreaction to the text. Of course, I'm speaking as a man and we might just think about things differently. And yes, if you have told him a bunch before how upset it makes you, then there is no excuse. But I could see myself doing something similar. And I'm pretty sure that I have. Now, my wife and I both work, so there is more give and take with it. But I'm sure you realize that he's not happy to be away from you or the family that much. But that doesn't mean he can't have fun while he's away. And like mcg said, it's up to you to do something that you can do for you as well. I'm sure it's not as fun as going to a cool place like he did, but just something for you.

Comment