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Lessons Learned at Legoland

1. Trust your instincts
People may express surprise, maybe even a little concern, that you’ve planned a multi-day visit to Legoland. No Disneyland? No Wild Animal Park? More than one day at Legoland? Really? What else are you going to do on your trip? I was a little concerned myself. But as we were walking up to the gate and The Boy pumped his fists in the air yelling “LEGOLAND!” with joyful abandon, I had a feeling we made the right choice.

He’s been planning this trip since he found an old Legoland map three years ago. Love at first sight. He studied that map with intent focus, memorized the attractions, and planned which ones he’d like to visit. We’d watch other people’s Legoland home movies on YouTube. When the map fell apart, I actually called Legoland and bought a souvenir book over the phone from their gift shop. And as The Boy got older and his fascination with Legos increased, so did the Legoland dream. Mickey Mouse, nothing. Just show him the way to the giant Bionicle.

2. Don’t think out loud
Kids hear every word you say. That’s hard to remember when you typically say “Put on your shoes” about 17 times before they even move in the general direction of their shoes. But the little monkeys are a lot more tuned in than we think. Any detail that would have even slightly affected their Legoland fun was seized upon the minute it was uttered out loud.

“I hope there’s not a lot of traffic. . .”

“TRAFFIC! There’s going to be traffic?! Will we ever get there?!”

And don’t even think about acknowledging the “No Refunds If We Close The Park Due To Rain” disclaimer card they hand you in the parking lot. Just slip it in your pocket and, you know, silently hope it doesn’t rain.

3. Bring the whole damn family
What’s more fun than a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old at Legoland? Two 5-year-olds and 3-year-olds at Legoland! We did the first day by ourselves, but the whole mood changed from fun to Best Vacation Ever when the cousins showed up.

4. Kids can’t lie
I know, I know. We should have learned this lesson when Balloon Boy spilled the beans on CNN last fall. But that was different. That was a huge lie, and one that didn’t directly benefit the child.

But lying about your age when you’re only days away from turning six so you can go on the 6-and-up ride? You figure they’re going to be more motivated, right? The Boy and his cousin couldn’t even believe we were going to let them try it. The dads coached them.

“If they ask you how old you are, just say you’re six! How old are you going to say?”

“Six!”

And then, they got to the front of the line. “How old are you?” asked the ride operator.

“Five!” shouted the cousin proudly.

“Five and eleven-twelfths!” shouted The Boy, not to be outdone.

And that was the end of that ride. He stopped crying eventually.

5. Three-year-olds and rides don’t always mix
Well, I should really just speak for my own three-year-old here. Her cousin loved the rides. But my Little Girl didn’t see the point. She kept trying to climb off and get a closer look at the Lego models. At Junior Driving School, she gave up in frustration and wept on her steering wheel. Waiting in line, she’d decide which color boat/car/plane she wanted, and if she got the wrong one she’d cry her pants off for the first 2/3 of the ride. In the end, we found she was a lot happier just studying the talking Lego models and doing the hands-on active stuff.

One notable exception: The Legoland Express train ride. She and her cousin rode that thing over and over. And over. And it never stopped being cute:

6. Teenagers = adorable
Seriously. You know what’s almost as cute at the three-year-olds on that train ride? Teenagers trying to look cool while on vacation with their families. Cheek-pinchingly cute. Maybe I’m just getting old…

7. Bring a bathing suit
Cloudy and chilly in the morning? Bring a bathing suit. Weather report calls for a chance of rain? Bring a bathing suit. Kids have so much planned that you’re sure there won’t be time for the water attractions? Seriously, just bring a bathing suit.

8. “Reasonable” is subjective
There are many different planes of reason. Adults, for example, may think it’s reasonable to be happy when someone hands you an ice cream cone. But children know that it’s perfectly reasonable to be spectacularly disappointed if said ice cream cone does not match the one they pointed to on the poster. (I have to admit, I’m going to side with the kids on this one. Ice-cream-disappointment tantrums are always, always forgivable in my book.)

9. Beware of the gift shop
There is a kind of madness that takes over at the big Legoland gift shop. You think “How bad can it be? I’ve been to the mall on a Saturday before.” But brother, it’s bad. The cranky, the dazed, the joyfully anxious are all streaming by each other or blocking the aisles with their strollers. Endless choices assault you from the shelves, prompting the kids to capriciously dart far away from the group. I haven’t seen Mr. Black that stressed out since the first time I was in labor.

I tried to go back when the park first opened the next day. Smaller crowds, but only one cashier who was waiting on the Family of Perpetually Changing Minds. Of course, the Lego store at the mall isn’t much better. Don’t like hectic crowds? That’s what the Lego Web site is for.

10. Choose a hotel that offers free breakfast Preferably one with a Make Your Own Belgian Waffle option. Mmmm-mm! Wafflicious.

Seriously, Best Vacation Ever. Anyone else have any theme-park tips to share?

Tags: Legoland, See: Embracing Our Inner Griswold, family vacation, theme park, tourist, travel

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Comment by Daria on April 3, 2010 at 10:04pm: Always go to the left. Most people are right-handed and naturally walk to the right (which is why the produce is to the right at the grocery store.) But this tip only works if you arrive at the theme park when it opens.

That is my one and only theme park advice. And, I was hoping to avoid theme parks forever, but I learned that will not be possible when my kid upon seeing a stuffed Mickey Mouse at someone else's house started yelling "Hot Dog!" (as in, Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Diggity Dog...but They Might Be Giants sing it, so I can't really be annoyed. And he only knows about 40 words, so to put them together to repeat "Hot Dog" is kind of cool). So yeah, I have lost the battle to ban Disney from our house. I apparently will be visiting Disneyland someday. I pray that Legoland comes first.

Comment by Madame Ellie on April 3, 2010 at 11:24pm: My daughter calls Mickey Mouse "hot dog", and everything mickey is hot dog. And no, my children don't watch too much TV, why do you ask?

As for theme parks, we're waiting a few years for The One And Only Disney Vacation, because, honestly, one is all we're ever going to be able to afford, and it's probably going to be right after tax time, when we're flush with earned income credit, so all of the kids are going to have to be old enough to remember it FOR. EVER. The only thing I remember from my last theme park visit (1997. The summer after freshman year in college) is that the price of everything made me want to cry, and that was just buying stuff for ME. I'm going to have to sell a kidney to take three kids.

Comment by Michael Tuchman on April 4, 2010 at 1:59am: I feel similarly about Disney. Legoland had similar prices because that's the economics of amusement parks. But since Legoland doesn't envelop our entire experience the way Disney does, there was considerably less resentment for me.

The nice thing about the LL gift shop is that even if they stuff they buy is overpriced, it is at least Lego. I really wanted the Death Star or Imperial Cruiser, but I couldn't afford it. It was also great to get some specialty pieces.

Comment by StitchyWench on April 4, 2010 at 9:19am: When Ri was born, I lived about 3 miles from Legoland, all by surface streets (which is amazing for traveling anywhere in San Diego County). We only went to Legoland when her older cousin was in town - because he LOVED it. By the time we moved, he was ten and no longer interested in Legoland, and so ended our experiences with the park. Now when we go back to visit family the kids always want to go to Disneyland or my least favorite place on Earth - Sea World. I keep waiting for the day when they are big enough to go to Magic Mountain with me, because real roller coasters are my favorite!

Also, I'll never forget Ri crying horrible awful frightened tears at the troll in the storybook boat ride with the Three Billy Goats Gruff. I think my SIL or my MIL gave us the book soon after that so she could learn not to be scared anymore, she was terrified of the freakin book, too. I eventually had to hide it away until she got over it.

Comment by Daddy Geek Boy on April 4, 2010 at 1:08pm: So glad the brood had a great time at Legoland. Last year, the Bean and Sprout and their cousins had a similar excursion to the park made of bricks. Totally fun. (And I was glad there was at least one ride for me...the arm that swings around 360 degrees?) Yup. Pure awesome.

Comment by mcglory13 on April 4, 2010 at 1:29pm: We have a lot of Disney World experience because my grandmother lives near there (and has for my entire life). They used to do discount tickets for Florida residents. I know it makes some people grumbly, but I adore it. I adore the artifice, the fact that there are millions of vinyl leaves painstakingly attached to cement trees, the fact that the roads are specially made to permit performances, the trompe l'oeil and the perspective work on the buildings. I love the notion of a theme park, as close to a fairy tale alternate world as we can get, and the ways it changes over the years that reflects the changing US notion of "fun." I think the new Epcot mini marathon, in which you run 13 miles after dark and end up at a FOOD AND WINE party, is full of semiotic awesomeness. While in general I stand in the cynicism section of life, I don't bother at Disney.

Having gone my whole life, I can trace the ways I use the park and how they've changed. We've gone twice for a day with the Smudge (and once with my 90 year old Grandma) and we did the park very differently. Mostly we just followed him around, a major change to our previous rush to try and do and see everything. To this end, the cast members should really rethink how quickly they sweep puddles away after a summer shower. Small one wanted to stomp for awhile.

Comment by Teacher Tom on April 4, 2010 at 6:25pm: When I was about 10, my family visited the original Legoland in Copenhagen. I was right on the edge of being one of those "cute" teenagers, but young enough to get how incredibly cool it all was. My brother and I LOVED the driving school. I don't know how it is now, but back then, we were really driving those Lego cars -- no tracks. The Legoland train actually cut through the course and we had to stop at the crossing for it to pass. It was big time pressure knowing you could crash at any time, especially since the "instructor" in the tower was speaking Danish. I knew he was calling my number, but I had no idea what he was saying. Despite that, it was our first real experience with the freedom of the road and we talked about it for months afterwards.

When our girl was almost 3 we took the long cab ride from London to Windsor to give her a break from museums, restaurants and tourist attractions. It was the single best amusement park experience ever. Like your 3-year-old, she really wanted to study the Lego landscapes and found one ride (it was a storybook boat ride) that she went on over and over. I get the distinct impression that their wheel-house-age now is in the 3-8 range -- I think it's better than Disneyland for that age group.

And it's just a better experience from a parent's perspective, because despite the commercialism and prices, as Michael T. says in his comment, "at least it's Lego."

Comment by Floor Pie on April 5, 2010 at 9:03pm: McG, I love this quote: "I love the notion of a theme park...the ways it changes over the years that reflects the changing US notion of 'fun.'" Well said. I was just watching some old TV specials about Disneyland when it first opened in the '50's. All that "Cowboys and Indians" stuff. And the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse. The submarine ride, which I understand is now a Finding Nemo ride. So bittersweet...

I'm a closet Disneyland fan myself...I don't think we'll be attempting it with the kids for a few more years, but I was positively captivated by the Disneyland dream as a child. I finally went when I was 13, and then again as an adult with my sisters. So much fun. And like you said, the aesthetics, the attention to detail...it's really amazing.

Tom, that Driving School ride was the one we were trying to sneak our almost-6-year-olds into! Now that I read about it, I'm glad they booted them out. The Junior Driving School was more than enough fun for them. The cars aren't on a track there, either, so it's sort of de facto bumper cars for the littler kids.

Comment by Daria on April 6, 2010 at 6:09pm: McG: Your perspective will probably help me appreciate it better. However, my personal Disney experience might have already permanently scarred me. My first trip to Disneyland was when I was 10, perhaps a little too old? But what I remember the most is that my youngest brother, who was 2 at the time, got sick-as in diarrhea sick. We, of course, didn't leave, but kept changing and buying diapers and buying him new Mickey Mouse shirts.

In retrospect, this might have been a warning of my second trip: a a freshmen in college. My mom can't veer off schedule and has to do everything or she won't "enjoy" it. And if she has to make a choice between two things, she spends the rest of the trip regretting the thing she didn't do. Having just spent a week traveling with her, I'm realizing she is a pain to travel with and I would prefer not to again. And of course, there was the traveling with the family to Disneyworld while other friends were doing cooler things. And I also remember thinking that Epcot was just odd. It was supposed to be futuristic, but it was all dated.

And finally, I don't like what it has done to my nieces. It might be more correlation than causation, but ever since my niece went to Disneyland, she's been about nothing but pink and princesses.

But, Disneyland is an hour from one of my brothers and Disneyworld 2 hours from my mother-in-law, so I imagine a visit will be in our future. I promise to do a better job appreciating the artistic element if I go.

Comment by Floor Pie on April 6, 2010 at 6:33pm: Daria, my cousin's kids live in Orange and have a Disneyland membership. Their oldest girl is a huge fan of ... Star Wars! So, you just never know.

Lessons Learned at Legoland

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