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Get Your Nose Out of my Belly!!!

Oh Haih... this is just me complaining again. I tend to use blog format to vent more than anything else, but at least it keeps me from yelling at people on the street or in the grocery store. Am I right?

Why, oh WHY do people assume that you being pregnant and them being curious gives them every right to stick their nose all up in your belly? I mean, it's bad enough when you are just regular pregnant with either no other children or one that is "acceptably" older. People always wanting to pet you or ask when you're due, is it a boy or a girl? Have you thought of a name? Etc, etc.

However, when you are 37 weeks pregnant and also carting around a one year old, people get really obnoxious. I swear if I hear one more comment about how "You're expecting AGAIN?!!! Wow! Didn't waste no time now didja?!! *heh heh, wink wink*" I'm going to punch the bastard in the nose. If you've never been hugely pregnant with another baby, grab the nearest 1 year old (I suggest your own or a relative's at least), stuff a pillow under your shirt, hit the grocery store and watch how quickly people judge you! It's *sarcastic* awesome.

Yeah, we got pregnant again really quickly, before we even had the chance to TALK about birtch control. No, we didn't exactly plan it. Yes, I spent 3 weeks in denial, crying and stressing over how I was going to handle two very little ones at the same time. No, I don't resent having another baby, though, Yes, I am quite tired of being pregnant. I love my kids, all of them. Even the one that is still swimming around in my belly, but lately, I really don't like being seen with them. Honestly, the looks people give you: Like you're some kind of irresponsible moron or piece of trash because {great divine spirits} forbid, you have any more kids than two. ESPECIALLY, it seems, if you have one girl and one boy. People act as though you must be trying for some sort of alien life form if you have one child of each gender and are having another baby.

I'm so sick and tired of being stopped by random strangers who want to ask me stooopid questions or give me their unasked for, stoooopid opinions. And at the same time, thanks to the way Momma raised me, I can't seem to find it in myself to tell them it's none of their damned business. So I end up walking around trying to avoid eye contact with people so they'll be less likely to stop me. Though, most of the time, even THAT doesn't work.

What kind of person does that shit?!!! "Hey! HEY! Whoooeeee! Look at you! Pregnant AGAIN?!!!" And then if you don't stop and let them patronize you, they act like you're some kind of rude bitch who like, shot their mom or something. As though you being pregnant ENTITLES them to be an obnoxious ass!! UGH!!

/rant.

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Comment by The Oracle on August 20, 2010 at 2:08pm: Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. I hated even the NICE strangers fawning over me when I was pregnant, as though suddenly they had the right to stare at, touch, and comment on my body. I had a couple of totally thoughtless comments (from friends, no less) but yeah, what you're experiencing sounds like a special kind of pregnant hell. And I suppose it won't really end after the baby's born either.

Not to be, you know, a downer or anything. Sorry.

Comment by Kristi on August 20, 2010 at 3:31pm: My first two were 18 months apart. Comments all the time. Our second and third were thirteen months apart- I would have gleefully ripped people's throats out for all the "don't you know how this happens?" and because we were having ANOTHER girl, "oh, so will you try again for a boy?" What really got me was the strangers who wanted to know if my husband was going to get a vasectomy. Uh... uh...who are you again??? You're right, I always stood there dumb while letting the random advice expert make their comments. It seemed to end faster that way.

Comment by mcglory13 on August 20, 2010 at 5:13pm: Oh dear. I hear you. I am a pretty private person, and pregnancy made me suicidally depressed. So the worst thing in the world was all the people up in my business who wanted to have random conversations. By 37 weeks I wasn't in any way cordial or polite. These things happened: in the grocery store a woman squealed: "when are you duuueeee?" and I snarled: "I can't see how that's any of your business." Same trip someone else asked me something and I cut them off with: "I'm sorry, I don't discuss my personal life with strangers." A man with puppies at the farmers market asked if I was having triplets (ass) and I burst into tears and angrily pointed a finger at him. My appalled spouse and friends bitched him out. A woman tried to hug me in Target and I slapped her hand off. The cashier at the coffee shop and I had the same conversation three times (is it a boy or a girl? oh, how exciting!) before I said: "look, you ask me this every week. The answer hasn't changed, and how will it impact your life whatever the answer is? Next week just pick one in your head and we'll be fine."

Comment by Gumbo Momma on August 20, 2010 at 5:19pm: Kristi: The Vasectomy question!!! Argh... yes, we get that and the "don't you know how that happens" crap all the time!! Or the, "So this your LAST ONE right?!" As if even THAT is any of their business.

McGlory- I love that you said things I so totally want to say to people. LOL I'm about to the point now where I just might crack and let something like that loose on someone.

Oracle- Yeah, I can't wait until their old enough that people mistake them for twins. That's going to be fun too, I'm sure.

Comment by Mommy Monster on August 22, 2010 at 5:32am: As one who has often made what I thought was light chit-chat with women going through pregnancy, I offer my apologies. I would never ask things like what future birth control method, if any, would be used, or what prompted the timing of a second child but have often inquired of due dates, gender etc. I had no idea it would piss people off that much.

I loved, loved, loved talking about my baby while I was pregnant (I even loved when people would touch my belly, although I have never touched, or even asked to touch, a friend/co-worker's/etc. belly) and have never meant any harm in it.

So, I would again, I on behalf of my kind in the world, I offer my apology. I probably won't do *that* again.

Comment by Gumbo Momma on August 22, 2010 at 7:35am: I wouldn't let it stop you from polite chit chat! I know of several moms-to-be right now who LOVE to talk about their pregnancies too! Usually I don't mind the due date type inquiries either, just the rude stuff like the bc type questions, which believe it or not, I've actually been asked.

Comment by mcglory13 on August 22, 2010 at 7:52am: MM, like I said, pregnancy made me suicidally depressed. And nobody mentioned prenatal depression, just postpartum (didn't have it, felt much better after the kid was born and the hormones changed). I assume there are many women who don't mind discussing their pregnancy, or even want to, and you can tell because they bring it up and encourage you to ask (like the woman waxing my eyebrows, I didn't even know she was pregnant until she started talking about it).

I think the issue becomes that people forget pregnant women are individuals and going through different things. I was depressed, another friend miscarried one of a set of twins, other people know their babies might have deformities, some people are carrying unwanted pregnancies, etc. It's like we assume all pregnant women MUST be thrilled about this joyous event and happy to talk about it, and that's where I think problems start. And honestly, I just don't like to chit chat with strangers about my personal business.

Comment by Kiwi on August 22, 2010 at 11:21am: When I was visibly pregnant with 1st kid I was babysitting my friends 8 month old and I actually had a lady say to me "well it looks like someone didn't wait 6 weeks." To which I responded "Well maybe if you got laid a bit more frequently you wouldn't be so bitter."

Being confrontational is something I've never had a problem with.

Comment by MamatothaMax on August 23, 2010 at 6:30am: I once had a woman ask me, when I was 37 weeks pregnant with my third boy "so are you going to try again for a girl?" WTF?

Comment by Gumbo Momma on August 23, 2010 at 8:30am: MtM- Yeah... why is it that people are obsessed with the idea of having a set of two: 1 boy + 1 girl? And if you have two -three of the same gender obviously you will NEVER be satisfied until you get one of the other gender. That is just crazy. My mom and dad used to get that all the time until my brother was born. I have 2 sisters and there was this huge gap in between my younger sister and when my brother was born, during which I remember random strangers always asking Mom if she was going to try for a boy.

Get Your Nose Out of my Belly!!!

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