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bad news

i found out yesterday my dad has prostate cancer. i don't know what stage it is in, prognosis, what kind of treatment he will need, nothing. he just found out so i imagine a few questions will be answered at the follow-up appointment.

it really sucks. my mom is beside herself. so like i did when she landed in the hospital from complications of her cancer treatment 18 years ago, i cleaned her floors. it's what i do.

and all my husband can say is, "i'm really sorry to hear that," to me as if i broke a nail or something. he hasn't even given me a hug. it's just adding insult to injury.

anyway, anyone have experience with this kind of cancer? (ps, don't say anything on FB please. my brother doesn't know yet. my dad wants to wait until sunday)

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Comment by wookie on October 15, 2010 at 6:58am: Not all spouses are good with the physical displays of affection/sympathy. I know I'm not. It is okay to ask for a hug and to express how you feel to him.

Comment by TommysMommy on October 15, 2010 at 7:41am: I am so sorry your family is going through this. I clean when stressed as well.

Comment by Herasmus B. Dragon on October 15, 2010 at 9:23am: I'm sorry your dad got this diagnosis. I know you don't pray, so I'll offer my sincere wishes that it is treatable. Do as Wookie said, if not for your husband's outlet, for yours.

Comment by Andromeda on October 15, 2010 at 10:42am: Thanks JTC. thanks everyone. we should know more soon. i hope.

i heard it was a fairly common cancer. i knew a guy who got it young. in his 30's i think. i know he had chemo, but other than that, i don't know much about his case. i did give him a device to help him take his *medication*. ;) i was very happy i could help him out in that way. it is so hard to be a bystander when someone is sick. it's a very helpless feeling.

Comment by mightyninjamom on October 15, 2010 at 11:39am: I'm sorry your family has to go through this. And I'm also sorry that you have to actually ask your spouse for emotional support, but wookie is right - some people aren't built to respond the right way in every situation. I'm married to one of those too. Heck, I probably AM one of those people!

Having been sick for a prolonged period of time, I can tell you that nearly anything anyone did for AlphaGeek while I was down was much appreciated. I had a friend come over and cook him soup and vacuum my living room while I hid out in the bathroom and puked. Don't discount the small things - they are worthy.

Comment by ks on October 15, 2010 at 12:55pm: I'm really sorry that this happened. It's a hard thing, when a parent is sick.

Comment by Joe Mama on October 15, 2010 at 5:14pm: Damn. Good luck to your dad!

Comment by G.G. on October 15, 2010 at 5:19pm: So sorry, A. Not easy at all.
I like MNM - keep yourself busy and don't discount doing the small things for them.

Comment by hermit crab on October 15, 2010 at 5:30pm: So shitty to have a parent going through this - I hear you on the sense of helplessness and uncertainty. Lots of hugs and hope it's early.

Comment by ruth on October 15, 2010 at 6:07pm: So sorry Andromeda! Try not to worry too much though -- it's one of the more easily treatable cancers, and the older a person is the less likely it is to be deadly because cancer develops much more slowly the older you are. So assuming your dad is at least in his 50's, the odds are definitely in his favor.

Sorry about your husband's lack of empathy -- here's a strangely aggressive internet (((HUG))) for you. (I always feel like I should say trademark MttM when I say that. :)

bad news

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