Madame Ellie's Blog (3)

So, dear readers, how’s tricks? I apologize profusely for my long absence, but I’ve been busy having sharp instruments poked into me and having organs and whatnot removed. I could tell you the short story, but that’s

not nearly as fun. So let’s use my now

dead-as-a-mackerel gallbladder and I’ll tell you a story. Come closer to my table. Don’t fear.

Here, look, a…

Hello, seekers of wisdom! You read that right, it’s pyromancy week, or as I like to call it “Lighting shit on fire!” I have been a fan of fire since I was a wee mystic. In fact, my aunt’s nickname for me is “Firebug” and she was convinced I was going to burn her house down when I was younger, and adjusted her home insurance accordingly. Little did she know it was just practice for YOU, dear readers. I was trying to contact the spirits at a young age, apparently. In other…

Welcome, O seeker of enlightenment to Madame Ellie’s Mystical House of Fortune Telling, where I grab a fishtank-sized margarita glass, fill it to the brim, and use the secrets within to answer your questions on the topic of your choice until I’m out of questions,…