Alternadad's Blog (7)

Dear Alternadad:



This question isn't just for me. It's for a lot of people I know who deal with this. How does one parent through depression?



Melancholic Mom



Dear Melancholic Mom:



Assuming that your depression isn't so bad that you need to be hospitalized, it's not really an option to abandon your parenting responsibilities. The one solace you can take is that your kids won't realize you're depressed. When you're weeping on the sofa in the middle of the… Continue

Dear Alternadad:



Is there any point to Mommy and Baby Yoga, for the baby?



Yoga Mommy



Dear Yoga Mommy:



There are few yoga clichés I hate more than "kids are natural yogis." While its true that kids are generally more flexible and open-minded than adults, that doesn't make them "natural"… Continue

Hey, Neal. I'm considering a vaporizer, but I've tried the glass dome and was not impressed. Is the Silver Surfer really all that?



Well, I've been surfing happily for six years now, and I show no signs of stopping, though the company has also done everything it can to encourage product loyalty by occasionally sending me free paraphernalia. Honestly, some of my stoner friends consider using the Surfer a lot of work. You have to heat the wand a certain way and then you have to… Continue

Dear Alternadad:



When they can reach tables, does life get more complicated?



Oh, for those days of parental innocence! I mean, of course life gets slightly more complicated when your child can reach a table. But really. If your biggest worry is whether or not your child is going to pull something off a table, then you're shitting in clover. The question could be rephrased as such: "When they choke their best friend in a playground argument, does life get more… Continue

Dear Alternadad:



Why is it when any of my son's friends come over for a play date, they all seem to like to use my bathroom for Number Two?





Unlike adults, who tend to only poop in their home toilet or in the well-appointed lobby stalls of high-end hotels, kids will lay down the law just about anywhere that's convenient, including park restroom stalls usually frequented only by the insane or the extremely sexually repressed. And if your son's friends are… Continue

Dear Alternadad:



In about a month's time, I will be flying from Phoenix to Detroit with a three-year-old and a 13-month-old. Alone. The three-year-old will have her own seat. The infant will ride on my lap. First off, am I crazy? Secondly, what is the best battle strategy to get everyone from one gate to the other alive?



First of all, you're not crazy for traveling alone with your children. People do it all the time, and have done it, if contemporary animated… Continue

Dear Alternadad, We've been informed by our 4-year-old's preschool that the state requires all children to have a one-hour nap, despite the fact that our bedtimes on those nights are a sheer hell of sleeplessness for the whole family. How can a state that's $20 billion in the red justify micro-managing families in this way? More importantly, how can we fight Sacramento at naptime?





The one-hour-nap is part of the Governator's mandatory furlough schedule. Teachers and… Continue