Bad mommy moment this morning when I released the yelling. Not just a "STOP IT!", but rather a "STOP IT!" It's a rare occurrence, but something in me dies when I do it. Apologies immediately after and seemingly accepted. Imagining the damage done puts me in a downward spiral, even though I try to not beat myself up about it.
Any good/bad parenting moments to share?
I don't think you're having a bad parenting moment...just a parenting moment! I don't mean to invalidate your feelings - I'm sorry if I did! I just think this is a part of parenting. It's a kids job to push, because they are testing the boundaries. If we, as parents, happen to set those boundaries a bit more firmly at some times than others, then those are the consequences. I may have a milder view of this - my parents were very authoritarian, and I was spanked with belts and wooden spoons and the occasional shoe fairly often. So for me, yelling at my kids is preferable to losing my temper and whaling on them. Also, I sometimes feel like the yelling is justified, like seriously, you've told them not to do that for the thousandth time, they KNOW they aren't supposed to do it, and they do it anyway. *sigh*
Don't get me wrong, I've definitely apologized when my temper seems to go over the top. But I don't think you're a bad parent for yelling.
What MNM said. You aren't being a bad parent.
I'm a yeller. I lose my temper and I yell and then it's over. It's kind of a joke with my kids--they know I'm all talk and they think it is hilarious. They also know that it's when I get quiet that they should maybe start worrying. And maybe it's just my complete lack of sensitivity (seriously, I'm not a sensitive person and I lose patience quite quickly when I have to deal with people who are), but I don't think that we damage our kids as much as we think we do by acting like actual human beings on occasion. It's good for them to see us acting like actual human beings. You're not beating them or emotionally abusing them, you just told them to stop it at volume and perhaps a bit angrily. You've apologized for any hurt feelings and that's that.
I yell, too. I don't think it's a big deal as long as I'm not doing it all the time. I honestly don't know that I could not yell again. I try my hardest, but I do end up yelling at times.
I'm a single mom of two very stubborn kids under 5... I have found that even when I consciously tell myself I am not going to yell... with in ten minutes they have done something (or not done something) to put me into scream mode. Its funny though... yelling only raises my blood pressure and gets me more worked up... its not like they really react as I want or do what I want when I yell.
My Grandmother once told me that she would take a few minutes here and there when she could find them and was alone to "get her yells out". Basicly she would scream, rant and gripe about whatever she usually yelled at her kids for to sort of get it all out. She claims she yelled less frequently in front of her kids after