I probably would have accepted the Navy's offer to become the first female nuclear power officer and would probably be screening for Admiral in the next couple of years (really). I would also probably not be married nor had children. I think its likely that I would still believe that I was worth sleeping with but not worth loving by anyone who really knew me.
My husband has a lot to answer for.
So can I start calling you Admiral Mama, then?
I think I probably had a lot more abusive relationships if I hadn't met and married someone whom (while he has his moments of assholery) is really pretty decent. I don't think I would have easily found stable ground, continued with education or went on into the workforce. I likely be vastly underemployed. Quite frankly, meeting the person I did when I did was a wonderful bit of serendipity that has enabled be to become a better human because I had the stability to do so.
I had always wanted to be a scientist, so I don't think that would have changed without my husband around. I knew I'd be going to graduate school around the time I met him, early in my college days. I was planning to move to a big city for graduate school, but I didn't get accepted into some of those schools, so that's why I stayed close to Hartford. I don't know that my now-husband would have followed me to to live in NYC like I wanted to. I'm not sure how my present salary would have allowed me to live in a city.
Relationship-wise, I think I'd be married, as I had always wanted to get married before meeting my spouse. I guess I would have had kids, but who knows.
When we got married, we weren't sure that we'd have children; we never discussed the topic before deciding to get married. It just wasn't on our minds. Luckily, we both decided we wanted to have a child around the same time, so we didn't have any conflicts.
<i>i haven't really done anything i thought i would have done by now.</i>
I feel that way too, but for different reasons. I don't know anyone, personally, who doesn't feel that way. For me, I don't think the person I thought I would be by now when I was in my 20's was realistic.
@wookie - oh, I'm not that formal... "Ma'am" is fine.
I agree completely with your point about having unrealistic expectations in our 20's - those are the times to open doors to see what appeals. I would have never guessed that I would either like or be pretty good at being a mom, and it would be easy to describe the effect of having children as closing doors...but I prefer to think of it as stepping through the door that leads to the rest of my life. (how's that for sappy??)
Crazy enough--I really wanted to be married with babies, so I'm guessing I'd be married with babies by now. (If only I had known...)
But I highly doubt I'd be living in N. AZ and pursuing my M.Ed in special education. That is completely CPF's fault. In fact, I have no idea what I'd be doing for work. That was never my top care, you know?
I'm happy with where I am.