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This Question Is In A Plain Brown Wrapper
Uh... *toes dirt a little with sneaker*.... have any gals on here tried any personal stimulant options for potential improvement of libido? As much as I'm icked out by commercials featuring glowing couples raving about K-Y's latest flame-covered packaging, I have to wonder if that stuff works. Or maybe herbal remedies. Viagra. Anything.
I don't want to admit how long it's been since I've had sex, and I actually share my bed with my husband just about every night. So frankly, I could use all the help I can get, here.
Embarrassedly yours for someone who once had sex with above husband at a truck stop,
JTX
Tags: embarrassing, help, libido, sex
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Floor Pie on -
Never tried personal stimulant options for that particular problem. Yoga has worked for me in the past. And then there's this option.
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Permalink Reply by mightyninjamom on -
Prior to AlphaGeek getting surgically sterilized, we were using condoms. And he could never find any that were comfortable. (insert eyeroll) I finally found some that he liked but I had to order them. They happened to come with some of that KY stuff. We decided since we had it, we'd try it out. It was weird. I wasn't sure I liked it or not. It was kind of uncomfortable, actually. It didn't make sex feel any better. It didn't make me want to do it more, either. The only thing that helped in that department was taking herbs to regulate my cycle. (the pill makes me puke.) So if you want herbal remedies try Vitex. Just a word of warning though - herbal remedies by their very nature will take longer to work than a pharmaceutical. You may not notice a difference for a couple of weeks and up to a month. The results will continue to roll in the longer you take it. Anyway, that's what worked for me.
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Permalink Reply by TommysMommy on -
Sorry for the personal questions but you asked!
Are you looking more for something to kick-start the libido or to make it better while it is occurring? I found a warming lotion better in a massage rather than the actual act.
For us, it's more getting out of the rut itself. We find that the more we have sex, the more we want to have sex. Sometimes it just feels like so much effort. We made ourselves a deal that we won't go more than 3 nights without unless we have a REALLY good reason. And we now have sex first, as soon as the kids are asleep and do the dishes/lunches/garbage afterward in case they wake up.
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Permalink Reply by Feynman? on -
A more holistic approach maybe? Damiana, Red Clover, Red Raspberry Leaf, Motherwort, Lemonbalm.
All of these VERY good for the female body.
tea, tincture, extract or an infusion in honey or molasses.
I prefer the honey, I can take that daily without whining.
The effects will start to show in about two weeks. And of course, with herbs, it's all about consitency.
Just an idea. Make sure it'll be all good with your system. research, talk to doc and so on.
Hope this helps!
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Permalink Reply by ruth on -
Are you taking any medications that could be suppressing your libido? There are a ton of meds that do that. Antidepressants are famous for it. I found that while I was fine on 60 mg of Cymbalta, when I increased to 90 mg I started having problems. My psychiatrist recommended Maca Root which I ordered and started taking, 3 capsules a day, and it has worked.
So I guess my 2 cents (in addition to everyone else's excellent advice) is look at your prescriptions, if you take any, and check the potential side effects.
good luck.
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Permalink Reply by Herasmus B. Dragon on
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The Intense stuff doesn't kick-start the libido, it just intensifies the good feelings. And yes, it DOES work for that.
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Permalink Reply by SweetJudyB on -
Not sure about the stimulating factor of some of those products, but I avoid the silicone based ones---sticky eeewww. A naughty column in a local paper recommended a water based brand called Sliquid.
We too have been pretty bad about finding time for Business Time. Some folks say scheduling it and making the time for it works, and makes you want more :)
Not sure about the libido thing either. What usually get's you going? Do more of that.
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Permalink Reply by MamatothaMax on -
I find the lubes that are warming or cause tingles to be quite painful so if we need them we use a plain water based one.
I find that the more we do it the more want to. I know that for some it is all about intimacy but we often use sex to unwind or vent stress. Often after a good ole fashioned f@ck the intimacy follows in the the warm after glow.
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Permalink Reply by Feynman? on
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Damiana, Fo-Ti, Red Raspberry Leaf, Saw Palmetto Muira Puama, and Dandelion leaf. Maybe a pinch of Cayenne Pepper. the magic of herbs is CONSISTENCY. make a tea of this (Equal Parts, and an extra part for the Muira Puama and Damiana) 1 tsp for every 8 oz. of hot water. steep covered for fifteen minutes. Drink 2x daily. of course talk with a naturopath near you and or a Certified Master Herbalist.
Good Luck, Be well.
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Permalink Reply by DigitalSmith on -
I'm not a girl, but my wife and I have tried Zestra (which is available at Rite-Aid, amoung other places). She reported to me that it made her almost painfully aroused and I can attest that she did show all the physiological signs of increased arousal, much more so than normal.
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Permalink Reply by Meghan on -
I bought the KY Yours & Mine or (his & hers) because for awhile I was mentally ready to go, but going through a bit of a dry spell physically. I prefer the his as it is warming and he really seemed to like it. The hers was cooling and maybe numbing which I didn't like as much, but it did help with the moisture issue. I had no bad reactions to it and neither did he.
I find that making-out levels of kissing really help get things going. We have been in a relationship for 12 years and it seems that we don't always remember to make out a little before getting things going. It also helps to just touch more during the day: hold hands, gentle back rub, gentle stroking of arms, etc.
As I said I was mentally ready, so if that is your issue, this may not be all the help you need, but it probably won't hurt. Just be patient with yourself and each other and try to keep him in the loop as to what is going on with you, so he doesn't think you are any less into him.
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