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These Situations.....
Ok, so I'll try not to go too in detail, because, it's long and boring, but, mostly, cuz, I'm very new here.
My husband died in 2010, after what can only be put as 'the marriage from hell'. hubbys life-long bf, lived in our back yard for two year prior to his death. bf and I talked a lot about a lot. after hubby died, 6 months, bf kissed me and, excuse me for being blunt, i jumped on it, after not being laid for like 3 years. now in 2012, bf and I have been on and off since. i have thrown him out several times for being a selfish, insensitive prk. I know I dont want this relationship for oh, so many reasons. My problem is that at 40 yrs old, I have never had to break up with anyone. It shows too, cuz, every time I try, we end up fighting and i feel bad and tell him to stay. I admit the biggest part of this problem is me being so afraid to be alone, I have been married my whole life. 17yrs anyway. Any GOOD advice on this?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by bethany on -
I'd suggest some counseling to help you sort out your feelings and to figure out if you want the relationship to work, or if you just need to ditch him and overcome the fear of being alone.
I have to ask, how did he live in your back yard? If literally your back yard, I'm thinking you could probably do better.
Good luck.
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Permalink Reply by mightyninjamom on -
If you can't get to a therapist, you need to change how you are thinking about the situation. Instead of being alone, you would be free of the encumbrance of dealing with that guy. You could be yourself, without worrying that the way you act might offend someone, or that you would be criticised for it. You can make the bed or not. Put the toilet paper on any way you want! You won't need to deal with anyone else's sensitivities or idiosyncrasies. Heh. Sounds kinda nice, when you put it that way.
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Permalink Reply by Joe Mama on -
I'm with Bethany on this one - do you want him or do you want to know how to be on your own? If you are looking for a "soft" break up I think you are definitely in a position to tell him that you need to be on your own for awhile (say, six months to a year) to figure out who you are in this new life you are living.
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Permalink Reply by jomamma74 on
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i luv this reply. change how im thinking about it, yes. it does sound very vry nice when you put it that way. just the thoughts that come with 'change how you think about it' make me feel better about it.
mightyninjamom said:If you can't get to a therapist, you need to change how you are thinking about the situation. Instead of being alone, you would be free of the encumbrance of dealing with that guy. You could be yourself, without worrying that the way you act might offend someone, or that you would be criticised for it. You can make the bed or not. Put the toilet paper on any way you want! You won't need to deal with anyone else's sensitivities or idiosyncrasies. Heh. Sounds kinda nice, when you put it that way.
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