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The Wall of Shit Theory
I read this today and I couldn't resist passing it along.
Here's how it goes:
The Wall of Shit Theory
Here's how it goes:
The Wall of Shit Theory
Throughout life, everyone has a certain amount of crap hurled at them. Some people get more crap, some people get less crap. Some people, the lucky ones, also get issued shovels, and spend their formative years being shown how to garden and constructing gardens in their hearts. So they're well equipped for dealing with the crap life throws at them. Sometimes it builds up, but they have their shovels, and use them and the crap to fertilize their gardens, and it's more or less okay.
Other people get only crap. They get crap from a very young age, and there's nobody to show them how to deal with it, because the people in their lives are dealing with their own crap, and throwing crap all over the place. So it builds up, in layers around their heart. After years and years of crap, their hearts, which may be beautiful, are pretty much surrounded in crap. Anything they try to send out is either trapped behind the wall of crap, or if it manages to squeeze out, it emerges covered in crap, sometimes to such an extent that it's impossible to recognize as anything that might ever have been beautiful. The same thing happens to anything that other people try to send in: if it gets in at all, it's covered in crap, and the person wonders why the world is throwing more crap at them. Because the crap is so thick, nobody can tunnel through from the outside, to find the beautiful heart. People get lost, and the crap sticks to them, and if they emerge at all, they too are covered in crap.
You can't really blame people for not wanting to be covered in other people's shit.
Sometimes, if the crapped-upon person can learn to recognize the crap, he or she can begin to reach through it, or learn to look for the openings. If a person's spent their entire life surrounded by crap, however, they don't always know to look for anything else—how should they? So you have people on both sides throwing love and kindness and whatever at a wall of crap, and people on either sides of the wall wondering why the people who profess to love them are giving them only crap to deal with.
Throwing more love at the wall of crap often doesn't do anything, because the person inside all the crap simply can't receive love that isn't covered in crap.
There may be one or two little tunnels through the crap, and something may get through these, but, of course, they're hard to find, and not entirely stable, and surrounded by still more crap. So even if you find a way through the crap, for some love to get through, it's not going to be easy or pleasant to get it to the person inside the wall of crap.
Other people get only crap. They get crap from a very young age, and there's nobody to show them how to deal with it, because the people in their lives are dealing with their own crap, and throwing crap all over the place. So it builds up, in layers around their heart. After years and years of crap, their hearts, which may be beautiful, are pretty much surrounded in crap. Anything they try to send out is either trapped behind the wall of crap, or if it manages to squeeze out, it emerges covered in crap, sometimes to such an extent that it's impossible to recognize as anything that might ever have been beautiful. The same thing happens to anything that other people try to send in: if it gets in at all, it's covered in crap, and the person wonders why the world is throwing more crap at them. Because the crap is so thick, nobody can tunnel through from the outside, to find the beautiful heart. People get lost, and the crap sticks to them, and if they emerge at all, they too are covered in crap.
You can't really blame people for not wanting to be covered in other people's shit.
Sometimes, if the crapped-upon person can learn to recognize the crap, he or she can begin to reach through it, or learn to look for the openings. If a person's spent their entire life surrounded by crap, however, they don't always know to look for anything else—how should they? So you have people on both sides throwing love and kindness and whatever at a wall of crap, and people on either sides of the wall wondering why the people who profess to love them are giving them only crap to deal with.
Throwing more love at the wall of crap often doesn't do anything, because the person inside all the crap simply can't receive love that isn't covered in crap.
There may be one or two little tunnels through the crap, and something may get through these, but, of course, they're hard to find, and not entirely stable, and surrounded by still more crap. So even if you find a way through the crap, for some love to get through, it's not going to be easy or pleasant to get it to the person inside the wall of crap.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by ferret on
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what is a moderate amount of crap? and then were just comparing crap, when it's all crap. I don't know if it matters how much it actually is, just if it is perceived to be unsurmountable crap ( i cannot spell worth shit---and miriam websters dictionary said i had to pay for access to that definition--but alas I am too lazy ) Spelling nazi's suck it.
KiwiBttrflyTy said:Amen sister.
Mamawho said:It is good. It leaves out, however, the people who get only a moderate amount of crap and a shovel but who choose to sit around and wait for someone else to do the shoveling. If they ever realize that everyone else is busy either shoveling their own crap or being buried in it, they are too far surrounded in years of crap to do anything about it. Most likely, though, they spend their whole lives pissed off that they got crap at all and that no one else shoveled it for them, because they're fucking special, goddamnit. Not that I know one of these people.
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Permalink Reply by The Oracle on -
This is a good point, ferret. I have a hard time comparing pain (as noted in a recent blog post) because it often turns into a martyrdom contest. But I think MW's point is still relevant -- some people who are handed a shovel still sit around waiting for someone else to shovel for them.
But then I think, yeah, well maybe no one ever showed them how to use it, or the shit-pile seems too big to even start, or it exhausts them, or they're terrified of what they're going to find inside, or whatever. I always want to know why people aren't dealing with their shit. Because it's easier than looking at my own ;)
ferret said:what is a moderate amount of crap? and then were just comparing crap, when it's all crap. I don't know if it matters how much it actually is, just if it is perceived to be unsurmountable crap ( i cannot spell worth shit---and miriam websters dictionary said i had to pay for access to that definition--but alas I am too lazy ) Spelling nazi's suck it.
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Permalink Reply by Mamawho on
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I was thinking of folks who have the average trials of life - some of which really suck - but think that the shit coming their way should be for someone else to deal with. These folks tend to leave a trail of their shit in their wake, too.
ferret said:what is a moderate amount of crap? and then were just comparing crap, when it's all crap. I don't know if it matters how much it actually is, just if it is perceived to be unsurmountable crap ( i cannot spell worth shit---and miriam websters dictionary said i had to pay for access to that definition--but alas I am too lazy ) Spelling nazi's suck it.
KiwiBttrflyTy said:Amen sister.
Mamawho said:It is good. It leaves out, however, the people who get only a moderate amount of crap and a shovel but who choose to sit around and wait for someone else to do the shoveling. If they ever realize that everyone else is busy either shoveling their own crap or being buried in it, they are too far surrounded in years of crap to do anything about it. Most likely, though, they spend their whole lives pissed off that they got crap at all and that no one else shoveled it for them, because they're fucking special, goddamnit. Not that I know one of these people.
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Permalink Reply by LeastLikely2Breed on -
But what if you want to throw toilet paper at all the crappy hearts -- I don't want see or touch your crap -- it's totally distracting me from digging out of my own hole.
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Permalink Reply by mcglory13 on -
I feel like I've spent much of my life painstakingly turning crap into bricks and then constructing attractive walls and such out of it. That gets exhausting. I'm for paying somebody else to deal with the crap now.
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Permalink Reply by mightyninjamom on -
That's the best argument for getting one's ass into therapy that I have ever read.
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Permalink Reply by SailorToTheMama on -
You know, there's a lot good to this.
My only problem, and I suppose it's little and nit-picky, comes with the part about people being supplied shovels.
There are some people who have very supportive, loving upbringings, and are, by analogy, given shovels.
What about the people who aren't 'given' shovels, or don't have supportive parents, who still manage to accept love, and bring crap-free joy into the world? Are they exceptions to the rule?
And is someone standing by with hand sanitizer for them?
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Permalink Reply by G.G. on -
In that case STTM you *made* your own shovel and are good human for it.
SailorToTheMama said:You know, there's a lot good to this.
My only problem, and I suppose it's little and nit-picky, comes with the part about people being supplied shovels.
There are some people who have very supportive, loving upbringings, and are, by analogy, given shovels.
What about the people who aren't 'given' shovels, or don't have supportive parents, who still manage to accept love, and bring crap-free joy into the world? Are they exceptions to the rule?
And is someone standing by with hand sanitizer for them?
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