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Tags: religion
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Diggy on -
I just want to say good luck. Mine have been Ok with us doing that. But it's still not easy. I hope it goes well.
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Permalink Reply by Boring User Name on -
I think my approach is going to be to say, "You can tell them, 'This is what I believe.'" You may not tell him things as fact. My mom doesn't even know kid's songs that aren't religious, though. This is going to be a big challenge for them.
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Permalink Reply by Andromeda on -
lots of kind thoughts and well wishes.
i hope not to have to have that talk with the grandparents. my folks are cool (kinda) and so far B's folks haven't talked to D about Hinduism. although, at this point i wouldn't mind if they do. his mom anyway. i'm certainly not going to suggest it, but D is pretty convinced that there is no god. i hope he eventually questions his beliefs so they become HIS beliefs, not just what I believe. however, at 6.... it might be a little young to explain the intricacies of religion and have him get it.
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Permalink Reply by Herasmus B. Dragon on
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I thino your approach is best, allows Kiddo to realize that different people think different things, and all are acceptable.
You will have to talk to them about not telling Kiddo that only the saved go Heaven. If they want to say "good people go" or just leave that out altogether.
You will find yourself talking to him several times about what he hears from Gramma. She may not be intentionally pushing religion, but it it's that important to her, such a big part of her life, then she'll unconciously say things and he'll pick up on them. You'll just have to say that this is what they believe, and your daddy and I believe differently.
We have issues like this in our house. When Big O was about 3 years old, Hubby became an athiest, and now makes snide remarks about religion, knowing that the rest of us find his comments offensive. Big O and I talk often about how Daddy thinks different things than we do, but both ways are ok, and if she or Ebay ever began to wonder about a different way of thinking we'dbe happy to help them explore those paths.
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Permalink Reply by Kat on -
Well wishes :) Grandparents are tough. Any mutual themes in what you believe and what they believe? So, you instead of cut them off, give them a narrow range of topics? (Although, I know with some people we give them an inch they take a mile...). I was raised in a small town and we had an "interfaith" council that set up summer bible school and the figured out what we could teach all the kids and still not offend any one religion -- although that was a group of Christians with simliar-ish believes. Any, again best wishes :)
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Permalink Reply by mightyninjamom on -
We compromised. They didn't push anything, I got the kids baptized, and that was the end of it. They knew when I married AG that he was an athiest, but it never bothered them. I told them ahead of time we were not going to push religion on the kiddos.
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Permalink Reply by mcglory13 on -
Spouse and I believe the same things. As does my father. The rest of our parents are only vaguely religious. Luckily this means nobody much feels like discussing much of anything in regards to religion. We've had more issues with small one's school, which celebrates ALL religions.
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Permalink Reply by ruth on -
Well wishes and good luck. I was fortunate that my parents never pushed anything religious, despite being devout Catholics themselves. I think HBD is right, you'll have to have lots of conversations with your little guy even if your parents tone everything way down, but I think that's going to happen anyway. Kids hear about religion from peers, TV, etc, so it's good to let him know it's a topic you're willing to talk about whenever he wants.
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Permalink Reply by kommishoner on -
I agree with all the comments about your approach allowing your kid to hear that religion is really important to his grandparents but also that people can believe lots of different things and that's okay. I think if you're worried about the grandparents proselytizing in a bad ways (i.e. x people are going to burn in hell) you can add that "if there's anything Grandma or Grandpa say that makes you feel upset or scared I want you to tell me about it so that I can help you feel less scared". I also think that for myself, as a person with strong values but no particular religion, that I try to be proactive in communicating those values to my kid to counteract some of the religious stuff out there - things like "in our family we love all kinds of different people" or "in our family we are kind to others". That way there isn't a "void" of values that other families might fill with religious beliefs, if that makes sense.
I do love some of the religious songs, though, because I love the music that comes out of Appalachia. Some of them I've rewritten so I can sing them to the little man, and some I haven't bothered. Like in "Balm in Gilead" I sing that "there is a balm in Gilead that heals the lonely soul" instead of "sin-sick soul", and that "the love around me" instead of "the love of Jesus" revives my soul again. But since I think of Jesus as a quasi-real guy who had killer progressive values and pretty good community organizing skills, I'm okay with leaving some of the religious stuff in there and having conversations about the more esoteric "god" and "heaven" stuff. Just my 2 cents, though. I'm sure you'll settle into something that feels right.
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Permalink Reply by kommishoner on
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You know, I just re-read more carefully and realized that it sounds like you're asking more about what to say to the grandparents than your child. Sorry about that. Reading comprehension iz hard. ;)
I haven't had to have this convo, so I defer to more experienced folks. But it seems like it would be hard to go wrong by starting with "I know this is important to you so we're not going to ask you to not mention it at all, but please be respectful that we don't want him to know about things like hell or [insert whatever problematic ideology you think may come up]."
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Permalink Reply by rommie on -
No ideas, just well-wishes. The Engineer and I are both Christian. My mom's nominally Christian, my father's a self-proclaimed heathen and likes to remind me that I'm the world's biggest idiot for believing in God, and my in-laws are the sort of super-scary fundamentalists that think my (former) Sunday School-teaching self is obviously going to burn in hell because I have gay friends and wear black. If you figure out the secret to living in peace, please report back.
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Permalink Reply by ks on -
I've also only got well wishes.
Between Mr. S and myself, our family runs from atheist to nominally Catholic to very devout Catholic to various flavors and scariness of fundamentalist Free-will Baptist and Pentecostal to mega-church attending and really happy about Jesus (have you ever seen Jesus Camp--they're kind of like that) to vaguely spiritual but not really believing in a deity to Hindu. Religion has been off limits as a topic of conversation other than in the most general terms in this family for a really long time. It just makes life more pleasant for everybody that way.
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