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The Suburbs

We are house-shopping. We are doing it pretty casually, though, until our current condo sells. But, my husband would like to put a few suburbs on our list. I'm struggling with it. I know the concrete positives: more space, better schools, etc., but I'm struggling with the intangibles. On one hand, it's a little like moving anywhere--I don't want to make new friends. I like the ones I have now. And moving will make me see the ones I have now less. I don't like that. Perhaps if we were moving to an entirely new city, I could live with that, but I don't want them to be 15 miles away, but feel like more.

But, there is something more to it. I think I feel like when moving, any new friends I will make will be as "the Kid's Mom." Most of my friends I have now have been friends from prior to the arrival of the Kid. Sure, those that have kids, we talk about the kids, but we also talk about other stuff. And more importantly, they know me as something other than a Mom. Oh yeah, and I have fair amount of friends who aren't parents in the city. I have this perception that the only people in the suburbs are families, which I know is false, but when you have a kid and the first question anyone asks is "are you moving to the suburbs?", the perception gets reinforced...

Am I being a suburb snob? Will this happen when moving anywhere? Is my identity slowly but surely going to become "the Kid's Mom" no matter what, even if I stay in my current condo?

Perhaps this could have been a blog post as it ended up being longer and more personal than I started it as, but the moving thing has been a theme around here, so I figured there other with mixed feelings about it...

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Permalink Reply by Mamawho on February 4, 2010 at 7:52am

Oh, if I didn't have a dog, I wouldn't have a yard. It's too damn hard for me to take her out in an apartment, especially the third floor walk-up we had. I have a hard enough time with stairs, and she has to be carried on them. GirlWho is an active kid, but would rather play in a common area than in her own yard. She's as social as she is active, though.

Our yard backs up to a flood-control creek for the Potomac, so our yard is swampy most of the time. Ew. And we have wildlife, like foxes and shit in our yard occasionally.

I love this place, but I would fill it with books: http://nyti.ms/b53QUk I also want one of his clocks. Maybe I'll make one myself. . .

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Permalink Reply by Daria on February 8, 2010 at 12:04pm

This decision is likely going to have to be made sooner than later. Without jinxing anything, it seems that we might be signing a contract to sell our place tonight...

So, yeah, the problem is that the decision is one some level only psychologically and zip code suburb v. city. The suburb locations could easily be located closer to public transportation and a downtown area than the city places we are looking at. In other words, lots of decisions of make quickly.

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Permalink Reply by Alan on February 8, 2010 at 12:25pm

Good Luck!

Daria said:

This decision is likely going to have to be made sooner than later. Without jinxing anything, it seems that we might be signing a contract to sell our place tonight...

So, yeah, the problem is that the decision is one some level only psychologically and zip code suburb v. city. The suburb locations could easily be located closer to public transportation and a downtown area than the city places we are looking at. In other words, lots of decisions of make quickly.