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The D word
There is quite a bit of backstory here, but rather than bore you with the details, I'll just simply state that my BIL's wife has left him/kicked him out. They have a 15 month old. BIL is living out of suitcases at his parent's house and takes the baby on the weekends. He has become very depressed and I just want to shake him and tell him to "Wake up!" I've been urging him to get counseling, visit a lawyer to understand his rights, and get his own bank account (Wife is a banker and handles all the $). I want him to cover his rear in case this gets ugly.
This has also been very stressful for the grandparents- they have to help out a lot while the baby is at their house and need some down time. The Wife hasn't seemed receptive to the idea of every other weekend (wouldn't want to interfere with her new found "freedom").
She's convinced she wants a divorce, but BIL isn't emotionally ready to deal with much of anything lately.
Just a horrible situation (especially for my baby niece)- hoping I could get some hive feedback on how to deal.
Tags: divorce, separation
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by kommishoner on -
Other than offering to help babysit and being a supportive ear, I'm not sure there's much more you can do. People are, sadly, mostly free to be unable or unwilling to fix their own lives when they get blown apart. And from a legal perspective, you're telling him all the right things - he just has to get a lawyer and do them.
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Permalink Reply by mightyninjamom on -
I think you've given him all the pertinent advice you can, and aside from kommishoner's suggestions, well, it's up to him now to put on his big boy pants and do what needs to be done.
Just make sure that if he doesn't do any of this, that he doesn't drag everyone down with him. I've seen whole families implode just from being on the periphery of situations like this.
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