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Talk me down people
baby fever...
Thinking of trying for a girl and probably ending up with another boy (which is fine too). I'm having trouble remembering all those really fucking good reasons for NOT having another baby. The BABY portion of it being 1 thing. The pregnancy and ALL it entails (except the boobs. The boobs are great). Diapers, baby drool, baby crap that I no longer have because I've been getting rid of it as Ro out grows it because damnit, I don't want another baby! I don't want to be out-numbered! All of these things and more.
Yet my mind wanders and I start imagining us with another baby and I have to talk myself down.
Help! Tell me this goes away.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Andromeda on -
He wants another one. In fact, he won't get a vasectomy because he's holding out hope. He thinks there might be 1 more baby someday. I keep asking him, "with who?"
And I really don't want to get a bigger car.
See? All these great reasons from you guys. Now I just need the urge to pass.
Lady Grey said:You know what, I might miss the excitement of the possibility of getting pregnant, but the permanence of the vasectomy really solidifies that there will be no more and it allows me to think about the next stage of my life. Remodeling! Traveling! College for the kids! Saving for retirement! Yea!
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Permalink Reply by Boring User Name on -
"The excitement of the possibility of getting pregnant" This is a statement which I in no way can identify with. Perhaps it is only have two bedrooms in this house, but I am scared s***less. We have to get the vasectomy done, even if I can't imagine being without his help for a few days while he recovers.
So, yeah, as a person with a baby, I'm will echo everyone else about mental health and money. But yeah, babies are work. I have a happy baby, but he's also happy at 3 am sometimes. And then I'm exhausted all day. I'm back to feeling more isolated because I've gone from one with who could skip a nap so we had freedom to a baby who needs 3-4 and there's only so much I can do in between naps (because he won't always sleep on the road). My oldest is not really adapting all that well. He loves his little brother, but he kind of thinks that we still have the same amount of time for him by himself. It just doesn't work that way!
Put your energies into a new hobby and get excited over doing something new that way rather than just a baby!
Lady Grey said:You know what, I might miss the excitement of the possibility of getting pregnant, but the permanence of the vasectomy really solidifies that there will be no more and it allows me to think about the next stage of my life. Remodeling! Traveling! College for the kids! Saving for retirement! Yea!
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Permalink Reply by wookie on -
The urge will pass. I am now pretty close to enjoying other peoples babies without having my ovaries flare up begging for more.
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Permalink Reply by kommishoner on -
IMHO, the snuggly phase does not balance out the needs-money-for-daycare-and-then-eventually-college phase. I can get snuggles from any baby on earth. But I don't have to worry about taking care of that baby's resources, and the fact that I think about it that way tells me I shouldn't have another one. ;)
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Permalink Reply by Herasmus B. Dragon on
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No! Don't do it! It's not worth it!
Babysit?
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Permalink Reply by ks on -
Absolutely don't do it. Everybody else gave all the reasons that I could give and then some. The main reason, aside from the mental health and all of that, though, is Diggy's reason. Do you really want to take the chance that you'll have one more that you don't really want and then wish you hadn't had him/her? Because that feeling sucks like no other. I've done that. I was finished after N. A little ambivalent about that, but I felt like we were complete with just N. But Mr. S wanted another and I felt like it would probably be good for N to have a sibling, so I agreed to it. And much as I love and adore A, I wish I hadn't gone along with that because it is just too much. And the guilt for feeling that way is horrendous.
So don't do it. The feeling will hopefully pass and you'll be able to get on with life. *hugs*
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Permalink Reply by bap2 on
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If only you could have a bunch of kids and then pick the ones you like best. Maybe that should be some young adult dystopian fiction.
Kidding aside, this is wonderful for me as well, because you are not seen as a real mom around here until you have more than two. You have to be outnumbered in the household to have street cred.
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Permalink Reply by Zealflyer on -
If you've had two easy babies then many of us could terrify you with tales of NO SLEEP FOR MONTHS. My second kid was super-fun reflux baby (yay!) and I whenever I get any ideas about further babies I slap myself upside the head really, really hard. Go with the baby animals. These can really bring the warm and fuzzies (though I hear that puppies can be almost as bad as actual babies!).
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Permalink Reply by Andromeda on
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Yeah, I'm not really needing a puppy right now!! They are worse than a baby IMO. puppies have teeth and they howl. shoot me just thinking of crate training one right now. But maybe when we buy some property.......
Zealflyer said:If you've had two easy babies then many of us could terrify you with tales of NO SLEEP FOR MONTHS. My second kid was super-fun reflux baby (yay!) and I whenever I get any ideas about further babies I slap myself upside the head really, really hard. Go with the baby animals. These can really bring the warm and fuzzies (though I hear that puppies can be almost as bad as actual babies!).
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Permalink Reply by RBridwell on -
Having three has kicked my ass. They are 13, 9, & 8 and they kicked my ass as babies and now they still kick my ass. Every damn day. I'm counting down to college for the first one so I can get some normalcy again with just two at home. They fight, need to go places, etc. With only two, parents can split the duties...with three you are SOL and have to rely on that snarky Mom to drop your kid off after (baseball, football, art class, ballet, etc) because you and your husband both are with the other two. Or you have one kid not do anything...and then they grow up resentful and pissed.
Not to mention a party of 5 always takes longer to be seated at dinner out, hotels are way more expensive and traveling is a pain in the ass. That fifth plane ticket is a bitch. I have three bathrooms in my home. THREE. When we moved here I just knew for sure I had finally found some peace. Um, wrong. Three bathrooms is still not enough for 5 people. And the messes...Oh my god the messes. Cleaning up after 5 is insane. INSANE. Oh, and I have one word for you….LAUNDRY. I'm telling you...five is just a pain in the ass.
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Permalink Reply by Andromeda on
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HA! yes. I vaguely remember what it is like to be a family of 5. (I am the youngest of 3 kids. the first 2 were 15 months apart and then there I was 7 years later. Ooops.) We never really went out to eat and I know we never flew anywhere as a family so I hadn't given those things much thought. Good point about all the extracurriculars too.
See, i totally don't want another kid. nope. nada. Besides, we are almost out of diapers. almost. so very close.
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