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Talk me down people
baby fever...
Thinking of trying for a girl and probably ending up with another boy (which is fine too). I'm having trouble remembering all those really fucking good reasons for NOT having another baby. The BABY portion of it being 1 thing. The pregnancy and ALL it entails (except the boobs. The boobs are great). Diapers, baby drool, baby crap that I no longer have because I've been getting rid of it as Ro out grows it because damnit, I don't want another baby! I don't want to be out-numbered! All of these things and more.
Yet my mind wanders and I start imagining us with another baby and I have to talk myself down.
Help! Tell me this goes away.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Joe Mama on -
I guess the thing to ask is why you are hankering. I am a sucker for babies and my boys are turning into giants before my eyes, but I know I most want a baby when I'm sad or depressed or lonely.
Would it be easier to get a boob job? :)
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Permalink Reply by Andromeda on -
Ha! I don't actually like the boobs that much.
Just..... BABY. I know it's hormonal. I see the desire ebb and flow. Does it ever stop?
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Permalink Reply by TommysMommy on -
Ugh, I hear you. If we had kept to our cycle and decided to have a third, I could be pregnant right now. And ALL my friends are. Never mind that they are all having their firsts and mine are 5 & 2. My heart says yes, but my head (and husband, snicker!) say no. If we'd had 2 of the same, I'd have argued harder for a third. My body went through an almost physical reaction this spring when it figured out no baby was coming. Totally shut down the sex drive. "No baby? No sex!" I think I've gotten over it. Maybe.
I don't think it ever goes away. But it does fade. I have to believe it's biological because I experienced physical LONGING before both my kids.
BUT - ARE YOU CRAZY????? NO sleep! Diapers! Poop! Barf! This one would have colic/reflux/etc! (Did I convince you yet?)
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Permalink Reply by mightyninjamom on -
Well, look at it this way - there's one more kid your husband is not going to help you with. Except for knocking you up, of course.
I comfort myself with the thought that if we followed our original plan as well, we'd have a 10 year old, 7 year old, 4 year old, and I'd have a one year old on my hands right now. I'd also be batshit insane.
Not to mention, the brain chemistry issues you've been going through lately are NOT going to be helped by getting pregnant again, and may actually make them worse.
Now, having said all that, I think I stopped wanting another baby when the Little Miss was around 3 years old. Then I was content to look at other people's babies, maybe even hug and cuddle them and then I was totally happy to give them back.
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Permalink Reply by Andromeda on
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Exactly. I really DON'T need a baby. like REALLY DO NOT need one.
I think if we are successful in our bid for home ownership next spring I can probably fill the need with baby animals. :D
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Permalink Reply by Andromeda on
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RIGHT! No way I could hope for 3 easy babies. Odds are baby would be an even bigger handful.
TommysMommy said:BUT - ARE YOU CRAZY????? NO sleep! Diapers! Poop! Barf! This one would have colic/reflux/etc! (Did I convince you yet?)
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Permalink Reply by bap2 on
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mightyninjamom said:Well, look at it this way - there's one more kid your husband is not going to help you with. Except for knocking you up, of course.
THIS for many of us.
Also as we age the risk of twins increases!
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Permalink Reply by ruth on -
NO. NO. NO. NO. Please for the love of all that is holy, NO. I love babies, seriously, and I remember when my younger one was about 5 months old and I was nursing him in the dark and smelling his head and I thought "how can this be my last baby?" But damn, girl. NO.
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Permalink Reply by Diggy on -
As the father of three, I'd like to say that you shouldn't do it. I don't want to say it was a mistake, because I love that little beast, but three is too many. Sometimes, I think three too many, but always at least one too many.
As a PS, whenever you think of having a third, look at my picture. Then let that sink in for a while. And imagine that face and associated sound showing up randomly in your life. She's almost 4 now and it hasn't stopped. I even have it taped if you'd like to hear it one day.
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Permalink Reply by DLBK on -
I hear you, and I have a 4 month old! He's so much easier than his older brother and so very sweet, and I keep getting upset when I think that he's most likely our last baby. I didn't realize I'd feel this way! I never thought about it until after he was born.
Now I keep thinking of a third, mostly because I have always wanted a daughter. When I see cute little baby girls I want to cry. I don't want to think of living the rest of my life without a daughter in it. Of course, I understand that a third child could very well be a boy, too.
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Permalink Reply by wookie on -
I have to admit, my last kid was the one that I found the hardest. Way harder than the other two in most things.
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Permalink Reply by Lady Grey on -
Oh dear. You asked us to talk you down and as blatant as it already was, I have to reiterate what MJM said.
Husband. Your husband will not help you any more with a third than he has with the other two. A new baby might distract you for a while, but I think your depression will remain and when number three is not such a needy tot, you may be right back where you are now, or it could persist through pregnancy and you may have PPD. BTW, does hubby want another one? Seems like you mentioned once that he does.
Money. You talk a lot about not having the money to do the things you want to do or to live where you would like to live. A third child will only exacerbate this and add to the bills. What if you need a new car? What if someone gets really sick?
Obvious other things. No sleep. Further delaying your independence (I know it's still, what 16 years or more off, anyway). Less time with your other children. You know all of these things and all of the ones I didn't mention.
I am so grateful (to what?) that having Baby Grey completely satisfied my need for another baby. He is now four and I haven't had a single pang for another. Yes, I still go goo-goo over babies and stare at them (freaking out my husband), but I have nary the desire for a third. I mean, if it accidentally happened, I wouldn't abort it, but that ain't happening since Earl Grey was snipped. You know what, I might miss the excitement of the possibility of getting pregnant, but the permanence of the vasectomy really solidifies that there will be no more and it allows me to think about the next stage of my life. Remodeling! Traveling! College for the kids! Saving for retirement! Yea!
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