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Sticking With It
So, my 6 year old is currently playing in the town flag football league. He sucks at it and he really doesn't want to be there. And honestly, I'm getting to the point where I don't either. I had told him before the season started and numerous times since then that if he signs up for something that he has to stick it out for a whole season. This is how I was raised and it seemed like it made sense. But, I'm rethinking the entire thing. He's really not helping his team out at all and I'm not sure the exercise benefits are really there as he doesn't move around very much at all. What he mostly likes is to play around with the other kids while he's the one who isn't playing. Oh, and he's not the best at trying to get back onto the field after his turn sitting out is over. And usually at least once a game he 'gets hurt' and starts crying.
So, is there any reason I should subject both he and I to this? Does it help him to stick it out for the rest of the season? We've got another month left. I'm trying to find the lesson I'm teaching, but coming up blank.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by mcglory13 on -
Diggy, am I remembering correctly that you had the same issue last year or with some other sport or something? I could just be having a wicked case of deja vu, I haven't had much coffee yet.
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Permalink Reply by Diggy on -
Did I ask the same question? He didn't like soccer that much either. And yes, it's pretty much deja vu for me as well. I know I made him finish it last year, but I'm a year older and wiser now.
mcglory13 said:Diggy, am I remembering correctly that you had the same issue last year or with some other sport or something? I could just be having a wicked case of deja vu, I haven't had much coffee yet.
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Permalink Reply by Herasmus B. Dragon on
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Maybe sports just aren't his thing. I had to accept that my older daughter was very unlike me and wanted nothing to do with any activity involving a ball. I was such a tomboy and played baseball. She dances and is taking piano lessons and soon drawing lessons.
Did he request to sign up? If he asked, then you might want to keep him in for the reasons you described. If you signed him up, perhaps its best to let it go and find some activity he would like doing, maybe offer sports a few years later. What does he like to do now?
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Permalink Reply by mcglory13 on
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Yeah, I'm pretty sure we discussed this in terms of soccer too. I'm thinking given that this issue keeps coming up that organized sports might not be for him. :) If you're all frustrated and miserable, you might want to just cut your losses but tell him no more sports for a good long while, until he signs a contract or something to play the whole season.
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Permalink Reply by Diggy on
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Could be. You folks are the ones I come to with all of my questions. He did ask to play, so that's why I'm wanting to make him stick it out. And he did like T-ball, so I can't hold off sports from him. It's a shame because I really don't think he's quite ready for some of it (plus, he's a REALLY slow runner, just like Dad) and he gets discouraged quite easily. I think I'm just looking for someone to tell me there was a study and doing this is going to harm him.
mcglory13 said:Yeah, I'm pretty sure we discussed this in terms of soccer too. I'm thinking given that this issue keeps coming up that organized sports might not be for him. :) If you're all frustrated and miserable, you might want to just cut your losses but tell him no more sports for a good long while, until he signs a contract or something to play the whole season.
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Permalink Reply by wookie on -
Maybe it's just the disorganization of being on the field that is not working for him. Tball is pretty linear. Soccer/football/hockey, everyone is moving around constantly. It's confusing.
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Permalink Reply by DLBK on -
As long as he doesn't always want to quit everything he starts and isn't great at, I don't see the problem with letting him quit this time. I get that you're trying to teach him to work hard at something he started, but if you're both miserable, why bother? He's only 6, after all.
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Permalink Reply by G.G. on -
This is what I was thinking... Is there something else he'd rather do? (music, art classes?)
DLBK said:As long as he doesn't always want to quit everything he starts and isn't great at, I don't see the problem with letting him quit this time. I get that you're trying to teach him to work hard at something he started, but if you're both miserable, why bother? He's only 6, after all.
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Permalink Reply by Boring User Name on -
I occasionally worry that I may have an active kid who is not athletic. As an adult there are a lot of outlets for activity at a variety of skill levels. I think, for instance, of the marathon with the crowd who walks/runs and Olympic marathoners. But, correct me if I'm wrong, it seems like for kid's activities, the physical learning is expected to be linear and progress year after year. (I see this is the description for toddler soccer, toddlers!) And it just doesn't follow a neat path for everyone. Are there outlets for those kids?
For instance, I wish I had been encouraged to do more group sports. It would be nice as an adult to participate in a company softball league; know where to throw the ball in kickball; or to catch, rather than flinch and duck, when a ball is thrown to me. I have no ability to process what is going on around me in a team sport. Maybe I never could have learned it, but maybe I could have and I guess I wish I would have tried, and been encouraged to try, more.
So, yeah, I don't see a reason to make a six-year-old miserable, but I would try to find a physical outlet of some sort and encourage some basic level team sport knowledge at some point, but it doesn't have to be now.
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Permalink Reply by mcglory13 on
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Daria, there are things like Marathon Kids that encourage kids in individual sports. Swim team is another one like that. You're sort of improving upon your own benchmarks, not playing to a certain level.
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Permalink Reply by Mamawho on
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I grew up in a household in which it was forbidden to say "I can't" and quitting was failure. Serious bullshit.
I think that teaching a kid when to quit and how to do it with grace and dignity is really important. And also that trying, trying, and trying and putting your mind to it won't actually accomplish everything.
I was really active as a kid and involved in sports, but I was always really overwhelmed in team sports. I still played softball, volleyball, and field hockey, but I loved swimming, track, and archery. (I was terrible at archery because my elbow bends so far backwards that it gets in the way of the bowstring.) Would he possibly be more interested in an individual sport?
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Permalink Reply by sarah on -
It sounds like most people agree that letting him stop now is not only okay, but good.
I have to say I agree. But I also think it'd be a good idea to talk about what he doesn't ike about it. Is it just because he's not very good - or is he not very good, because he doesn't like it? There's a big difference.
Also if this si something that has happened before it might be a good idea to look into his trying a sport for fun once or twice before getting onto a team. Around our place there are tons of places for drop in sports so kids can 'try before you buy' which to me is a great idea.
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