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Pay to pray, or fee for services rendered?
The Mister and I had a little difference of opinion today and I won't say who thinks what just for the sake of fair argument.
Say there is something you want done by a priest. Like a blessing of an object. But you are not a part of that church, you do not pay a tithe, you've never even been there or given them anything before.
Are you within reason to just ask them to bless this object or should you slip a tenner into the collection plate?
Just so we're clear, one side of this argument states that one should be contributing something in the church in reciprocation. The other side argues that the Vatican has enough money already and because a blessing is not a consumable product one should not feel compelled pay for it or beholden to the church in any way for a quick little blessing.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by wookie on -
My gut feel is pay for it. It feels like the courteous thing to do.
Not paying is like saying McDonalds has enough money, why pay them for this quick little Big Mac?
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Permalink Reply by Mommy Monster on -
My inclination would be to pay for it. But I most recently belonged to a super-poor little liberal church, not the astonishingly wealthy Catholic church.
And in the interest of full disclosure I should say that when I married my first husband, whose family was VERY Irish Catholic (although he himself didn't give a crap), to make his mom happy, we asked his priest to participate in the service along with the minister of my church (a church I was extremely active in). His priest told him he was going to go to hell for marrying me in the evil, eeeevil Presbyterian church and that our marriage would not be recognized by God. Three years later, we divorced. A couple of years after that he called me to tell me he wanted an annulment (from the Church) because he was going to remarry. They wanted me to sign some kind of papers and he had to pay $1,400 or some absurd amount to get it done. Since my marriage to him was "never recognized by God", I told him his priest could fuck off.
/rant
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Permalink Reply by mcglory13 on -
I would feel like I should donate some money. I would also not give money to the Catholic church. Therefore, I would have to skip the blessing.
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Permalink Reply by Herasmus B. Dragon on
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I know nothing about Catholic guilt. I'm a Presbyterian so every decision must be made by committee. There is nothing to feel guilty about if the blame is evenly spread amongst 5 other people.
If a minister/priest refused to bless an object because you haven't donated, then they must be smote on the spot. If you feel obligated to give money to get the minister/priest to do something, then the church is not acting as a loving community but as a corporation. Chat with the priest, make a connection, ask for the blessing, and if you want to donate afterwards to the church do it because you felt connected with the priest and the particular church, not because you feel obligated to pay for a service.
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Permalink Reply by Alan on -
Herasmus B. Dragon said:I'm a Presbyterian so every decision must be made by committee.
I have a Presbyterian church as a client and this statement made me laugh out loud.
I'd say a donation offering is valid if you like the church and people involved there. I presume you all do as you want the blessing done there?
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Permalink Reply by TommysMommy on -
As a Catholic, here's my response: If you want to ask for a blessing, please do it. Priests are not allowed to charge for services even like funerals and weddings. If you would like to, a donation to the parish is nice, especially if you are not a member. Such monies usually go to keeping the parish afloat and paying staff, like the secretary.
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Permalink Reply by wookie on
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Ah, but the Catholic Church/the Vatican is really more a corporation or business than Jesus.
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Permalink Reply by The Middle Sister on -
I'd just ask the priest straight-up: "I've never done this before. Is this something that's typically a paid service or not? What's the standard protocol here?" I'm guessing he'll say, no, it's not a paid service but a donation to the parish would be welcome. But then you've taken the guesswork out of it and still shown you're aware of the value of his time.
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Permalink Reply by The Middle Sister on
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D'oh! Still signed in as the Middle Sister.
The Middle Sister said:I'd just ask the priest straight-up: "I've never done this before. Is this something that's typically a paid service or not? What's the standard protocol here?" I'm guessing he'll say, no, it's not a paid service but a donation to the parish would be welcome. But then you've taken the guesswork out of it and still shown you're aware of the value of his time.
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Permalink Reply by The Oracle on -
Okay, I'll speak as my regular self now. I'd add that, just because it's not a "consumable product" doesn't mean it can't be valued monetarily. I do a lot of things in life that aren't consumable but get paid for them (or should *cough cough* parenthood *cough cough*).
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Permalink Reply by Gumbo Momma on -
It's always been my understanding that payment for such things is not required but a donation is considered courteous. If you are uncomfortable giving a donation directly to the church, how would you feel about donating to one of their causes? My mother's church (catholic) has a St. Vincent's Society that provides for the local community, so usually when she is asking for something to be blessed, she'll donate canned goods to their St. Vincent's pantry or something. At least then you would know where your donation was ending up and how it was being used.
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