Offsprung

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Know any? My boys' private karate teacher is an amazing, fabulous, awesome, any superlative you can think of, kick ass woman in her early 40s. She's married (2nd marriage) to the guy who owns the karate school who strikes me as a douchebag. Some of this is superficial ( his long ponytail) but some of it is in my gut. And I don't get it! 

Do  you guys  know couples like this?

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My parents. Totally. Not just personality-wise, either.  Pictures of my dad from his days in the Air Force show him to be one of those skinny, wiry guys. He's also pretty laid back and easy-going. Rarely loses his temper.

My mom, on the other hand - short and stocky. If she'd been born a man, and taller she would have made a great linebacker. And she is the Total Drama Mama. Sadly, all three of us girls inherited that particular trait.

Alan and I are totally incompatible. It's true. Ask him. We might both be nice people (might), but we are polar opposites in so, so, soooo many ways that we really shouldn't be together at all. But somehow we make it work.

When we told my grandparents we were engaged, my grandmother pulled me aside and whispered, "Does he make you laugh?" I said he did. She breathed a big sigh of relief. "Oh, good," she said. "I was going to leave your grandfather so many times over the years, but then he'd make me laugh and I just couldn't go."

Yeah, they were an odd couple, too.

I guess I'm talking more about couples where one member seems really together and awesome and the other one seems like a jerk, or worse.  And in about 80% of the couples I know or have known like this (and I'm talking about a large sample size because I see a lot of couples in my job) it's usually the woman, seemingly "settling" for an asshole.  I very rarely see the reverse.  What up with that? 

I dunno about other women, but I know that the time period where I was dating a total asshole it was because I had Daddy Issues. 

I call it "my gruesome failure at heterosexuality," though the heterosexuality was hardly the main problem.


ruth said:

I guess I'm talking more about couples where one member seems really together and awesome and the other one seems like a jerk, or worse.  And in about 80% of the couples I know or have known like this (and I'm talking about a large sample size because I see a lot of couples in my job) it's usually the woman, seemingly "settling" for an asshole.  I very rarely see the reverse.  What up with that? 

Oh, well, I can be kind of a bitch.

ruth said:

I guess I'm talking more about couples where one member seems really together and awesome and the other one seems like a jerk, or worse.  And in about 80% of the couples I know or have known like this (and I'm talking about a large sample size because I see a lot of couples in my job) it's usually the woman, seemingly "settling" for an asshole.  I very rarely see the reverse.  What up with that? 

You say asshole like it's a bad thing. Maybe some assholes are really, really charming and that's why the woman falls for them.

ruth said:

I guess I'm talking more about couples where one member seems really together and awesome and the other one seems like a jerk, or worse.  And in about 80% of the couples I know or have known like this (and I'm talking about a large sample size because I see a lot of couples in my job) it's usually the woman, seemingly "settling" for an asshole.  I very rarely see the reverse.  What up with that? 

Now through your job, you see kids needing intervention/therapy, and 80% or more of the time the female parent will probably be the primary caregiver and that will be the majority of your interaction with the family.  So I think despite large size, your perspective by necessity may be skewed.

ruth said:

I guess I'm talking more about couples where one member seems really together and awesome and the other one seems like a jerk, or worse.  And in about 80% of the couples I know or have known like this (and I'm talking about a large sample size because I see a lot of couples in my job) it's usually the woman, seemingly "settling" for an asshole.  I very rarely see the reverse.  What up with that? 

I would say that Hubby and I are a bit odd together.  You know we had some major issues a couple months back, almost split for good.  Some of the bad things had come to a head, but therapy's been helping him.  He's.... how do I say this without offending some people... not the typical man.  He is the quintessential artist:  Moody, sensitive, somewhat scatterbrained about his personal life while managing to keep every detail straight in his artistic life, very self-centered, alternately completely loving or completely distant.  He can make me laugh until I cry one minute, then cry the next.

Me, I'm two different people at any given time.  I'm alternately incredibly patient or incredibly hot-headed.  I will ALWAYS think of others before myself, even if I'm not that close.  I can act like a total bitch to a snotty teenager, then hold the door for his gramma.  I'm very neat and organized at work, and at home we have piles everywhere until I flip and clean all the things.  I will push myself to exhaustion and complain the whole time that I'm exhausted and shouldn't do so much, yet continue accepting requests for my help.

Yet throughout our crazy 12 years together, we've always made each other laugh.  I can put up with his bullshit, and he mine, if at the end of the day we snuggle into bed with a smile at each other.

The kids might have to choose between college and therapy, but ehh.

Wookie, I actually see many families that either have dad home or both parents home, because many of my clients have one or both parents' unemployed.  It just seems like I frequently see pretty together women with men who have addiction issues, or aren't working when they could be, or serious mental health problems, or whatever. Although in the case of the karate instructor it is just personality.  I just CAN'T fathom what she sees in her husband. He's just.... douchey. 

Maybe he's got a 12 incher.

ruth said:

Wookie, I actually see many families that either have dad home or both parents home, because many of my clients have one or both parents' unemployed.  It just seems like I frequently see pretty together women with men who have addiction issues, or aren't working when they could be, or serious mental health problems, or whatever. Although in the case of the karate instructor it is just personality.  I just CAN'T fathom what she sees in her husband. He's just.... douchey. 

Well, I can think of at least one other OS'er...

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