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My third grader is being a drama llama about. . .
a flippin' school dance. I said no, she may not go. But my mind is a little blown. A school dance at an elementary school? It's on the school website - Winter Dance, Dec. 10, 7-9 pm.
Anyone else have dances at the elementary school?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by mightyninjamom on -
At my Catholic school (which was K-8) we did a big Mardi Gras celebration every year that was capped off with a 'family' dance. Yup, whole families would be there. By the time I got into 8th grade we had a couple of 'middle school' joint dances with the other Catholic school. My god, it was the most awkward thing I can recall from my childhood. I swear, they were trying to set us up to breed with other good little Catholics. Yet at the same time they were watching us like hawks. So unnerving.
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Permalink Reply by TommysMommy on -
We had "sock hops" on our lunch hour. So uncool. They'd pull the blinds down after we'd eaten lunch and turn on some music. But a dance? At night? Really? Lots of parents?
How old is she again?
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Permalink Reply by mcglory13 on -
I don't have a third grader, so I don't get it. I'm sorry. :( Why can't she go?
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Permalink Reply by Mommy Monster on -
Ours has them. We love them, they are so much fun. The kids have a blast, and it's not about "dancing" like at a prom. It's more like a big wedding reception where everyone dances. Ours are usually themed (last year was 50's, 60's and 70's) and the kids wore costumes. The principal and vice principal dressed up like Ike and Tina Turner and did a lip sync performance.
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Permalink Reply by Mamawho on
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I just think elementary school is too young for this type of function. Kids are asking dates to the dance. Girls are fretting about what to wear. I think it's too early for that and too much pressure.
If it were a winter carnival-type thing with activities and family involvement with a dance, too, I think I'd be OK with it.
mcglory13 said:I don't have a third grader, so I don't get it. I'm sorry. :( Why can't she go?
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Permalink Reply by ks on -
This is how it is at the boys' school too. Basically it's like a giant party where the kids goof off and there is loud music. They have a lot of fun.
Mommy Monster said:Ours has them. We love them, they are so much fun. The kids have a blast, and it's not about "dancing" like at a prom. It's more like a big wedding reception where everyone dances. Ours are usually themed (last year was 50's, 60's and 70's) and the kids wore costumes. The principal and vice principal dressed up like Ike and Tina Turner and did a lip sync performance.
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Permalink Reply by Herasmus B. Dragon on
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Really? I can understand maybe for the 6th graders, but as young as 8? Huh?
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Permalink Reply by Boring User Name on -
I can get your concerns about the "too young." But as the person who was never allowed to go to dances, ever, I would urge caution. Being socially "normal" and learning to dance in such settings is important, too. I'm not saying that this is the make-or-break event and full-fledge rebellion will start tomorrow if you don't let her go. But, perhaps some more dialogue on the topic would be good? She may not even want to go, but just doesn't want to be told "no." Or she may really want to, but won't like it.
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Daria, my upbringing is completely opposite of yours in certain respects. My grandma encouraged me to date, flirt, etc., and I never missed a dance or party from 6th grade on. I'm sure that informs my parenting in that I'm more inclined to rein things in a bit, because I was buck wild by 9th grade.
Part of my thinking she is too young is because I think things like school dances are cool and important, but going to them in 3rd grade makes them old hat by junior high.
She also gets uncomfortable when put in more "teenage" (her words) situations. (Or outfits - she got a cute blazer for her birthday, but is hesitant to wear it because it makes her look too old.) It wouldn't be the first time she asked to go somewhere only to feel overwhelmed and then want to leave. I think she's just not ready, too.
But yeah, I'll talk to her more about it once she's past the dramatic nonsense. A lot of her huffing and pouting is put-on anyway. She completely forgot she was pissed at me when her dad got home.
Daria said:I can get your concerns about the "too young." But as the person who was never allowed to go to dances, ever, I would urge caution. Being socially "normal" and learning to dance in such settings is important, too. I'm not saying that this is the make-or-break event and full-fledge rebellion will start tomorrow if you don't let her go. But, perhaps some more dialogue on the topic would be good? She may not even want to go, but just doesn't want to be told "no." Or she may really want to, but won't like it.
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Permalink Reply by TeacherJ on -
My current and previous schools both have had school dances, but they've all been whole family things. We had a Halloween one, where everyone came in costume, and last year a Valentine's Day one, where whole families came all dressed up, which was ADORABLE. Five year olds in suits and ties.
But, since they're for the whole family, they're very much Here's Some Music, You Can Dance Or Run Around Like Maniacs, Whatever. No dating or asking anybody else to come, no drama. That seems very weird to me in elementary school.
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Permalink Reply by Joe Mama on -
Its a middle school thing for us - but it isn't a "date" event, its a mad mosh pit type thing.
(I agree that "3rd grade" and "date" don't belong in a sentence...other than this one of course!)
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Permalink Reply by DLBK on -
I'm with Daria on this one. I wasn't brought up the same way, but many girls around me were. I'm not suggesting that you encourage her to flirt or date. Going to the dance doesn't mean she'll do any of that.
Also, I would guess that a few kids might be bringing dates, but that most must not be. My fear is that by not letting her go the dance will end up seeming like a much bigger deal than it actually is.
Daria said:I can get your concerns about the "too young." But as the person who was never allowed to go to dances, ever, I would urge caution. Being socially "normal" and learning to dance in such settings is important, too. I'm not saying that this is the make-or-break event and full-fledge rebellion will start tomorrow if you don't let her go. But, perhaps some more dialogue on the topic would be good? She may not even want to go, but just doesn't want to be told "no." Or she may really want to, but won't like it.
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