An irreverent, inclusive, alternative parenting community
It's about the food...again
I can't believe I'm still having food issues with the Little Miss, but I am. She just turned 7 a few weeks ago, but it's like she's returning to toddler-hood with her eating habits. To recap - she's an incredibly picky eater, and would live off of cheese, crackers and fruit if she could. She dislikes most forms of high-density protein, like meat, poultry and beans. She also dislikes most vegetables. Including salad. And lately, she's been trying to skip breakfast, saying she just isn't hungry. I let her do it one day - so she could see what the consequences were - and she threw up before lunch time at school. Yet, she still tries to squirrel out of eating breakfast!
I've tried providing options, but she just kind of seems so 'meh' about it. I've taken to throwing in fat wherever I can into her diet. Last night she didn't want dinner, and just had some rice, so I mixed about a tablespoon of butter into it. Luckily, she actually really liked it that way.
I can usually get her to eat some things she doesn't like, but it's very difficult and I don't particularly have the patience for it. I also don't like to have to bully her into eating, and I try to avoid it when possible. I have tried to frame the discussion of food to be about nutrition and health, but she just doesn't seem to care about that.
I guess I just need some objective opinions, really and possibly some commiseration. Like, how much should I be worrying about this? Also, I thought she would have outgrown this by now?
(Oh, and hiding veggies in other foods like tomato sauce backfired in a spectacular way. It's no longer an option.)
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by rommie on -
Does she seem to go in cycles with what she eats? I'm just curious and have nothing useful to add, especially with my only kid being so much younger. I can definitely tell which part of his growth cycle he's in based on what he's eating, though--he eats almost nothing but protein and grows a couple inches, then eats nothing but carbs and gains the weight to catch back up with his height. It freaked me out that he wasn't eating a balanced diet for a while until I noticed the cycle, so now I don't worry about it much. I guess kids' growth cycles space themselves out more (or change/disappear altogether) as they get older, though?
-
Permalink Reply by Lady Grey on -
That 15 times of trying something is BS and has never worked for us. Maybe 15 months of trying something before they'll start to gag it down would be more accurate.
Baby Grey is so picky, but if he eats reasonably well (like takes the tiniest nibble out of a vegetable along with eating his mac and cheese) then he knows we let him have a yogurt or kefir or something nutritious that he likes.
I totally understand your concern. BG is <3rd percentile in height and weight and we've gone through months of freaking out about his lack of eating. We seem to have found a "happy" medium (like more on his end than ours). That boy would live on mac and cheese and cheese &tortillas if we let him.
-
Permalink Reply by mightyninjamom on -
rommie - not that I have noticed. We measure the kids' height every six months, and both the Little Miss and B have had a pretty consistent pattern over the last two years. But considering how long it's taken for her weight to catch up, it may be an elongated cycle. Hmmm.
LG - okay, that first paragraph made me LOL.
Well, with Christmas coming up, both kids will be living on cookies anyway, so I think I'm just going to try to relax about it.
-
Permalink Reply by Boring User Name on -
I go through smoothie periods and it is when I am most consistently healthy: with soy milk, spinach (and occasionally kale), berries, flaxseed and a banana, that's pretty much about as well-balanced a meal as I can pull off.
-
Permalink Reply by Floor Pie on -
Just seeing this now, and it reminded me of an article about a great nutrition lecture from our preschool newsletter. Copying and pasting...hope it helps! (Maybe skip to the "Children, Food, and Boundaries" part.)
“Feeding the Whole Family” with Cynthia Lair
Parenting can be a fretful business sometimes, even with something as basic as feeding our children. With all the horror stories these days about industrialized food and childhood obesity – not to mention all those trend pieces about the latest must-have nutritious foods – a simple trip to the grocery store can become an ordeal. And when we finally do get dinner on the table, what if the kids refuse to eat it?
No wonder so many co-op parents came out to hear nutritionist and author Cynthia Lair speak about “Feeding the Whole Family,” the last in a series of free lectures presented by PAC for the 2009-10 school year. Audience members wanted to know: How do I feed a picky eater? Is my child drinking too much milk? What if my child won’t drink milk at all? What if my child doesn’t eat exactly three square meals and two snacks a day?
Lair, who stars in the Web series “Cookus Interruptus,” quickly put the audience at ease with her sparkling wit and wealth of knowledge about nutrition. She also encouraged parents to use their own judgment and common sense about their children’s diet. (Is the child healthy? Is she growing?) And while Lair presented some dire statistics about industrialized foods and the new generation’s health, she had some straightforward tips for putting safe, healthy meals on the table.
“Shopping for Sustenance”
Lair made it clear that she does not believe in assigning “good” or “bad” labels to any particular food. In general, she encourages families to consume as much fresh, local, organic, and/or seasonal food as possible from the following categories:
- Whole grains
- Fresh fruits and vegetables
- Beans
- Animal protein
- Eggs
- Dairy
- Nuts and seeds
Is it a Whole Food?
How can you tell if a food is a “whole food”? Lair uses the following distinctions:
- Can you imagine the food growing?
- How many ingredients does it have? A whole food has one ingredient: itself. (In general, Lair advises to look for packaged foods with no more than five ingredients.)
- What has been done to the food once it was harvested? How long was the food’s journey to the grocery store?
- Are all of the food’s original edible parts present?
- How long has this food been known to nourish human beings? The longer, the better.
Children, Food, and Boundaries
Now, for the tricky part. Once there’s a healthy array of food prepared, how do parents encourage their children to actually eat it? Lair had the following suggestions for setting good boundaries with children and food:
Honor mealtimes. As often as possible, families should make an effort to eat together and enjoy each other’s company.
Provide excellent choices. It’s wonderful to involve children in the shopping and cooking process, but the parents must make the final decisions when choosing which foods to serve. Instead of saying “what do you want for dinner,” parents can offer two choices.
Make vegetables attractive. Lair encouraged parents to examine our own thoughts and feelings about vegetables, and to learn how to cook them so they actually taste good. It’s okay to add a little butter. It’s also fun to let the kids pick the vegetable, take it home and help cook it. Even better? Have them help grow and harvest vegetables in the family’s garden.
Avoid mindless snacking and juice drinking so kids will come to the table hungry for real food.
Have consistent rules for non-healthy foods. If parents want to avoid certain foods, either don’t have them in the house at all, or have very specific rules about when these foods are allowed. (e.g., Doritos in their lunch every Friday, Oreos only on the weekends, etc.)
What’s served is served. No short order cooks. Once dinner is made, that’s what’s for dinner. Lair reassured parents that it’s okay if the child chooses to eat nothing for dinner. They won’t starve. And, supposedly, it only takes three times for the “just one option” principle to sink in.
Include a “winner” in every meal. Still, no one wants to send their children to bed hungry. So Lair encouraged parents to always include a dish the child is sure to eat. Even if that dish is only applesauce or bread and butter, Lair assured parents it’s okay.
Let it be. “Arguing with kids about food takes all the joy out it,” Lair remarked. She discouraged parents from begging, pleading, bribing, rewarding or punishing with food. Parents should avoid using food to get what we want from the child.
Listen. Lair reminded parents to listen and empathize with our children, and to entertain their ideas before saying no.
Be a role model. Children take their cues from their parents. It’s important for them to see us eat wholesome foods and follow the same guidelines we expect of them.
-
Permalink Reply by mightyninjamom on
-
Thanks FP - that's actually pretty helpful. I really don't want to get worked up about stuff. Last night I got her to eat a few bites of creamed spinach, just by telling her she didn't have to finish, but I would like it if she took a couple of bites. And I was much more relaxed for not having to stress.
I guess really the core of the matter that bothers me is that I detest wasting food, so even if I give her a small portion and she doesn't eat it, it bothers me to throw it away. I'm going to have to practice telling myself, "it's not the end of the world."
-
Permalink Reply by Herasmus B. Dragon on
-
I thought about this thread this morning when Ebay had spent the entire night in her own bed. Last night Big O had a music recital and we went to Pizzeria Uno's to celebrate. Ebay made her own pepperoni pizza, about 10" diameter, and ate about 3/4 of it. She'd had a full lunch and 1 1/2 cups of cheerios for breakfast. So she went to bed with a satisfied tummy, and slept well.
If having a full stomach helps her sleep well, should I be giving her a glass of Instant Breakfast every night, since she won't touch dinner unless it is pizza (which is about once every two weeks)? Should I give up the fight to have her eat something and just settle for plying her with sugary replacement meals each evening? She has a small breakfast, and eats well at daycare (or at least, we're receiving reports that she eats well, I don't know exactly how much is "well), and avoids dinner.
-
Permalink Reply by DLBK on -
Can you serve pizza more often--whole wheat crust, less cheese, healthier sauce, and lots of veggies on it?
I was a very picky eater as a child and still remember not liking any real food other than fruit. By the time I was a teenager I started growing out of it. I also still remember the food struggles I had with my parents and grandparents; I have no issues with food, but I don't want to repeat the situation, either. Luckily for us, so far my son eats better than any other child I've seen. I hope that lasts.
Herasmus B. Dragon said:I thought about this thread this morning when Ebay had spent the entire night in her own bed. Last night Big O had a music recital and we went to Pizzeria Uno's to celebrate. Ebay made her own pepperoni pizza, about 10" diameter, and ate about 3/4 of it. She'd had a full lunch and 1 1/2 cups of cheerios for breakfast. So she went to bed with a satisfied tummy, and slept well.
If having a full stomach helps her sleep well, should I be giving her a glass of Instant Breakfast every night, since she won't touch dinner unless it is pizza (which is about once every two weeks)? Should I give up the fight to have her eat something and just settle for plying her with sugary replacement meals each evening? She has a small breakfast, and eats well at daycare (or at least, we're receiving reports that she eats well, I don't know exactly how much is "well), and avoids dinner.
-
Permalink Reply by mightyninjamom on
-
Well, pizza isn't necessarily bad. I wonder if she would still eat it with slightly different toppings? Pizza dough is easy to make and freeze, (or buy from Trader Joes, and freeze!) and if she was able to make her own dinner, maybe she would be more interested?
-
Permalink Reply by wookie on -
As an aside, a family I knew when I was in college had 5 kids, and their mealtime strategy was as follows:
Each kid had a "day" per week where they picked what they wanted for dinner, and that was the family meal (you had to sign up before groceries were bought).
So if your favourite food was grilled cheese sandwhiches, you might pick that 50 weeks in a row and this is fair, because by and large, having that as one meal a week isn't going to kill anyone, even if they aren't a fan or dislike it.
Not sure what their policy was about really hating someone elses choice, if they got a backup of cereal or a PB&J, and iirc, there were no food sensitivities to deal with. But, everyone had the same amount of control and it was very fair.
- ‹ Previous
- 1
- 2
- Next ›
© 2012 Created by Offsprunger.
Powered by
