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Indie Moms
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/debra-goldstein/invention-of-an-indie...
So just as I was kicking off my Pity, Party of 1 again I ran across this... just had to share.
So just as I was kicking off my Pity, Party of 1 again I ran across this... just had to share.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by The Oracle on -
That is awesome. I love that term. Now I'm jealous ;)
Thanks for posting.
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Permalink Reply by DLBK on -
The article didn't say anything about how to go about reaching the goals. When one spends all of her time working, taking care of a young child, and trying to keep the house from falling down around them it's hard to think of anything else.
Maybe it took the author 3 years to start thinking differently because by then her daughter was 6 years old and therefore easier to take care of? Just a thought.
For the record, I'm not a single mom, but I see how hard it is to juggle everything even with a husband, so I can only imagine what it must be like without a partner.
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Permalink Reply by G.G. on -
DLBK - that's a good point...
My take away was it is a shift in your own thinking that truly makes the difference... but more than anything I was just happy to see that I wasn't alone in my self loathing and its part of the process. I've been single parenting for over a year of a 3 yr old...and in my view of things single parenting isn't easy at any age. Actually I think parenting in general never gets easier...the challenges just change.
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Permalink Reply by The Oracle on
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Ha! I was in a group of parents this past weekend, whose children ranged from 1 to 35 years old. The parents of adults assured us it was no easier parenting grown-ups than it was parenting children. All I could do was try not to cry.
GGG said:Actually I think parenting in general never gets easier...the challenges just change.
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Permalink Reply by kanachick on -
I call bullshit.
Seriously. I'm now parenting a 12 year old, a 10 year old and a 7 year old and it's waaaaaaaaaay easier than when they were 5, 3 and newborn. Anyone who thinks it's just as difficult either has extra issues going on (children with special needs or their own special needs) or is just not getting it.
Do we have stuff going on that makes me want to tear my hair out? Sure, but each one of them walks and talks and tells me what hurts and sleeps through the night. Not the same or even in the range of difficulty from the baby days.
It's different....but you'd have to have some kind of martyr complex to be telling yourself that it's just as hard as it is when they're toddlers or heaven forbid...three year olds...shudder.
The Oracle said:Ha! I was in a group of parents this past weekend, whose children ranged from 1 to 35 years old. The parents of adults assured us it was no easier parenting grown-ups than it was parenting children. All I could do was try not to cry.
GGG said:Actually I think parenting in general never gets easier...the challenges just change.
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Permalink Reply by DLBK on
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I feel that parenting my 2.5 year old is much easier than parenting him when he was a newborn.
Every time someone tells me how easy newborns are, I want to punch them. He didn't sleep much, he never slept on his own (without being held the entire time) for months, he only learned to put himself to sleep close to 1 year old after we left him to cry for over an hour out of desperation. I had to hold him and walk him around the house for hours, showing him different objects to entertain him so that he wouldn't scream and scream.
While there are challenges now, they can't compare to the newborn days. At least now if he starts crying I know he'll let me know why (for the most part), and I can try to talk to him about it.
kanachick said:I call bullshit.
Seriously. I'm now parenting a 12 year old, a 10 year old and a 7 year old and it's waaaaaaaaaay easier than when they were 5, 3 and newborn. Anyone who thinks it's just as difficult either has extra issues going on (children with special needs or their own special needs) or is just not getting it.
Do we have stuff going on that makes me want to tear my hair out? Sure, but each one of them walks and talks and tells me what hurts and sleeps through the night. Not the same or even in the range of difficulty from the baby days.
It's different....but you'd have to have some kind of martyr complex to be telling yourself that it's just as hard as it is when they're toddlers or heaven forbid...three year olds...shudder.
The Oracle said:Ha! I was in a group of parents this past weekend, whose children ranged from 1 to 35 years old. The parents of adults assured us it was no easier parenting grown-ups than it was parenting children. All I could do was try not to cry.
GGG said:Actually I think parenting in general never gets easier...the challenges just change.
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Permalink Reply by Joe Mama on -
There are meaningful and important challenges as the kids get bigger and I am often busier since I have less control over their schedules and those schedules take them in opposite directions, but it is definitely easier in many ways. My kids can make their own lunch when I'm busy, they can entertain themselves and each other for hours on end, they can explain themselves ... easier.
Now I have bullies, and struggling to get the right educational experience, and power struggles in and out of the house, and explaining about racism, and dating, and...
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Permalink Reply by wookie on -
I think the way I tend to frame it is that it's not easier or harder, it's just different. And different people find different stages easier or harder depending on how they are wired... if you are an utter control freak but don't mind wiping buts, you'll probably find little children easier than teenagers?
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Permalink Reply by kanachick on
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Possibly, but I usually find that the people who are going on about how hard it still is are looking for some kind of medal for parenting and there just isn't one. It's not helpful to say to someone with a screaming baby that it never gets easier - you adjust, you learn new skills, it's like any new reality - the horror stories we share with each other about how it's alway so draining do not help a sleep deprived stressed out parent. Just getting a full night's sleep every night makes the lunches and the homework and the running around easier to handle.
I can see that for some people different stages are more challenging and of course, some people are dealing with extra issues that do make it more challenging but the general idea that parenting never gets better is unhealthy. I'm happy to shout that it's way better than it was.
wookie said:I think the way I tend to frame it is that it's not easier or harder, it's just different. And different people find different stages easier or harder depending on how they are wired... if you are an utter control freak but don't mind wiping buts, you'll probably find little children easier than teenagers?
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Permalink Reply by Herasmus B. Dragon on
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Right. I'm actually finding parenting Big O is more difficult now than when she was 2. Then, she listened to me, followed directions, didn't sass back, knew where everything was that belonged to her, etc. She's still a great kid, but I'm getting more white hairs because of her than Ebay nowadays.
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Permalink Reply by G.G. on
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Clearly kana you need your beauty rest ;)
My point was that it just changes. And I totally want a medal. Or cookies.
Although I don't think I'm a martyr for admitting that sometimes parenting is just straight up hard at any age. I do like the reassurance that it changes though...
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