Offsprung

An irreverent, inclusive, alternative parenting community

I go away for ONE WEEK with just my husband, and I want him to knock me up.

I knew this would happen.

So sometime soon I may be pregnant, if the fertility gods are beaming down upon me..beaming or just rolling their eyes because I'm an idiot.

Lets talk about second kids. Is this even the right section for this? I mean, I had sex so it kind of works right?

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Ok, me as the parent doing the single serving dish please.

On the other hand I am the oldest of 3 kids. I have a brother and sister. We have large age gaps but we are pretty tight. I have endless happy memories of my brother and sister. Wedgies, late night snuggles b/c of bad dreams (and Mom & Dad's room was too far!), summer vacations, practical jokes, and on & on... I wouldn't trade those 2 for anything but doesn't mean I am able to support that dynamic in my own family life.

edamame - I'm 11 yrs older than my sister! I was very involved with her growing up - in a totally different way then if we were closer in age... I was the one that daughter how to play school, paint her nails, helped her to learn how to swim, etc... I'm not saying one is better than the other (closer vs further) but it just affords a different kind of sibiling connection.
Just wait until you have 2 tweens in the house - yesterday I spent all night going:

johnathan get away from brandon
brandon leave johnathan alone
hey - if i hear you one more time your going to bed
turn down the damn tv
give the ds back to your brother just because he put it down to go pee does its not fair game
knock it the fuck off for christ sake - i'm calling dad. *disclaimer they only get this one when I ready to blow my top
Little B was like an angel baby - totally easy to deal with. The Little Miss required thought and several layers of strategy to deal with. However, I'm glad I have both of them. I am also glad that I am done. Even if I had really easy pregnancies and births, I'm pretty sure I couldn't handle another one.

And you can never tell about siblings. I am the middle of three sisters, and we were all born within four years. I love them a lot, but we have never really been the best of friends. I can't really count on them for a whole lot and we have pretty different personalities. They don't understand me, and given the opportunity I think they'd give me a personality transplant. I'm pretty sure they would describe me in similar terms.

I wish we were closer, but it's just not in the cards.
Both of mine were hell babies--they cried a lot and neither of them slept through a single night before his first birthday. Seriously, it was awful the first time around and even worse the second.

That said, now they're 7 and 4 and, for the most part, it's pretty good. They do fight some, like all siblings, but they're also best friends and can play together and keep each other occupied for ages. So it may start out bad, but it will most likely get better.

I'm completely done now, though. I hated every second of being pregnant and it took me a while with both of them (but especially #2) as infants to have that bond and I love them both to pieces now, but I couldn't do it again.
I waited so long to have a second child. Perhaps that's why I can't seem to get a handle on the fact that we're probably not having a third. That little niggling voice in my head is saying "You waited 6 years for her, there could still be a chance..."

Edamame, I like the big age gap. I had wanted 2-3 years between them, but I like having one big girl be resonsible while the little one destroys the place. And they both like their respective roles as well.
Anna - mine are 3 and 5 and that is almost verbatim what you would hear around my house. That said, they do love each other and can play together all day and I'm so glad to have each of them. I do miss the dynamic of having just one kid - it always felt so special with just him - but I wouldn't trade either of them.

I think it was Bethany who mentioned just flying by the seat of your pants which is really all any of us can do.

Annaevilred said:
Just wait until you have 2 tweens in the house - yesterday I spent all night going:

johnathan get away from brandon
brandon leave johnathan alone
hey - if i hear you one more time your going to bed
turn down the damn tv
give the ds back to your brother just because he put it down to go pee does its not fair game
knock it the fuck off for christ sake - i'm calling dad. *disclaimer they only get this one when I ready to blow my top
We've got two. We didn't really plan it that way. We're super diggin' it. It helps that CrazyLimeBaby is mellow and happy except for teething. Now I understand why teething has the reputation it does. Our first did NOT teethe like this.

But 99% of the time I adore having two kids.
I adore having these two kids--they're superhumanly cute and sweet, like they got bitten by radioactive cherubs, and now have all the powers of a cherub. I've also worked with plenty of kids whom I would not want to have as a second child.
God I want a buffet now.

Daddy Geek Boy said:
Edamame...how old is Bug?

I don't have a big gap between the kids. But yes, it's weird to have to divide time between two of them. I mostly spent my time with the Bean and very little with Sprout. Only now after a year, do I feel that I'm developing a relationship with her.

This is a weird analogy, but it's kind of like eating at a buffet. You don't get a large helping of any one thing, but smaller samples of lots of things. I don't have as much time one on one with either of my kids, but I do have a lot of time with them together.
With Mo and Max 3 years seems to be the perfect age gap for us. We toyed with the idea of having just two kids close in age but that didn't happen. Now the ages will be 7, 4, and newborn and I'm interested in what the dynamic will be like. Sailor is 7 years older than his brother and they are pretty close, one can hope right?

Also on days when the boys are screaming maniacs I like to take comfort in the fact that when the new baby is 6 months both Max and Mo will be in school.
We'll be trying for a second very soon, too, so I'm wondering about the same things Tracy! is.

I absolutely love spending quiet time with my 16 month old son and I'm very afraid of how much I would miss that. However, I want the kids to be close in age and I don't think in another year I'd feel any different about giving up my time with my son for a second baby.

I'm guessing that once the second one is here we will all adjust and love having two kids.
Our first two were 20 months apart and for the most part it's great (They are 3 and 4 now). Just a while ago we were watching them on the beach and realizing that if they didn't have each other, one of us would have to be playing with them. Things were so great with those two that we added another. She's only 10 months old now, so we are waiting for her to be able to run around with her brothers and leave us alone.
And I don't think age affects too much how you get along, I think it's in the personalities. And maybe a bit in how much the parents encourage that.

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