An irreverent, inclusive, alternative parenting community
For all the many folks with more than one child...
Which is most all of y'all. :)
Why did you decide to have more than one?
I'm really looking for answers and opinions here out of genuine curiosity.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Zealflyer on -
Yes! We're having a hard time getting Mr. Questions to care about reading to himself also. Perhaps this is an extrovert thing? He really wants any possible excuse to engage with us, I believe. (And the irony is that someday I'm sure that I will be so be wanting for him to engage and he will have moved on. But although I know this, I still get burnt out.)
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Permalink Reply by guinnessgoddess on -
I'm late to the discussion, and back from another M.I.A. period, but I have always wanted three. My parents both came from huge families and then there was just me and my brother growing up, and it felt diminished to me. I'm really close to him, but when it was bad, it was bad, and I felt too directly pitted against him for most of my upbringing. That element of competition is definitely something I see in my daughters and want to diffuse a bit. I also always really wanted a sister and still feel that I missed out because of it. I guess I just felt that the family I grew up in was never complete. Now that I have twins, I think another sibling would dethrone them a bit and challenge them to break out of their obsession with each other a little; I also want the joy of seeing them have a differently-aged sibling, and looking after a little baby. They are baby-obsessed. When I was pregnant with the girls, a man told me that he was a younger brother to female twins and said "Don't have another child. It will be horrible for that kid." Obviously I worry about that third child feeling a bit alienated, but at this point I think he/she would have a bit of only-child-like privilege because of the age difference with the girls (they are 4.5 now). I think also I really want the experience of just having one baby at one time, but I have a 1 in 12 chance of having twins again, so that remains a concern. I toyed with the idea of having 4 for a bit, but that strikes me as too much. There's something magical in the number 3. Financial concerns with another child are significantly lessened here because the entire process of having a baby is covered by health care, and then the children are covered for medical and dental, and our childcare is heavily subsidized by our taxes. So I'm really just taking advantage of money I'm already giving to the government.
In addition, everyone I know seems to have had a baby in the past year, and oh, I'm longing for that again. I liked the infant stage so very much.
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Permalink Reply by Andromeda on -
My oldest, The Dictator, is like that too sometimes. mostly his questions are SO theoretical i have no answer but he keeps pressing. For example, "What if the sun was a blue star? would leaves still be green?" "What would I be like if some of my DNA was different?" the questions are unanswerable but since i answer his questions (that make sense) so well, he thinks i can answer EVERYTHING. or he'll say, "well let's just google it then."
The little one, RoRo, will just ask me where EVERYTHING came from and what EVERYONE'S name is. if i don't know their name I tell him their name is Bob. he's starting to catch on.
Zealflyer said:Seriously, this kid can fit more questions into a minute than you'd think possible. Some really great questions and a whole lot of pretty ridiculous ones too. I've always thought that it was great when kids were inquisitive, but I have to sometimes impose a cease-questions period on the little dude. Because his constant stream of inquisition completely derails my train of thought sometimes.
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Permalink Reply by Zealflyer on
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Mr. Questions has started asking me people's names right in front of them and I am terrible with names so sometimes, when I am put on the spot, I will forget even when I should know. I have started to simply tell him that he should introduce himself.
He also frequently asks me where people are going are why they are doing something (like why are they wearing a rain jacket when it is not raining) and seems frustrated when I don't have ALL the answers. Sometimes I offer speculations as to why people may be doing things (ie: maybe they thought it was going to rain), but I have learned that this just prompts more, even less-answerable questions.
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Permalink Reply by guinnessgoddess on
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I just realized that in my comments I made it seem like financially one need only worry about kids in the short-term. Window into my own family planning right there: I know the long term is where it hits, but I am less worried about that because I will be making more in the future (when I have my PhD) and have decent job security with tenure likely in 2-3 years, so my biggest questions are the "can I do it now" ones.
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Permalink Reply by RubberChickenMa on -
My ex husband had been an only child. I had a sibling. He had a terrible childhood and blamed it on his "only" status. I know, of course, that plenty of only children have amazing childhoods.
So, we gave Thing One a baby brother for his 3rd birthday.
And Thing Two is such a joy in my life. Can't imagine life without him.
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Permalink Reply by Lady Grey on -
We thought Girl Grey would be an only child. But something happened when she was around or just before four years old and I *needed* to have another child. I can't really explain it, it was just this need. I think Earl Grey thought that our marriage would go down the drain if he didn't give in and he finally conceded.
The second I became pregnant, I realized that I was relieved that the burden of caring for two parents would not fall solely on my daughter. She will have someone to cost-share care with (if something goes wrong in our planning and it resorts to that) and hopefully have moral support. As an only child myself, I fear the burden of caring for my two parents who have done very little to plan for their futures. It's very worrisome and it would be nice to have someone to share that burden with.
No regrets, whatsoever. Baby Grey is a joy, through and through and is so different from his sister. That has been particularly interesting to experience.
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