An irreverent, inclusive, alternative parenting community
For all the many folks with more than one child...
Which is most all of y'all. :)
Why did you decide to have more than one?
I'm really looking for answers and opinions here out of genuine curiosity.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by n3gntropy on -
While we wanted at least two kids, maybe more if possible, both were surprises. 2 wonderful surprises!
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Permalink Reply by Zealflyer on -
Before we met each other, DH and I were both pretty convinced that we were never having children. Before DS was born, we decided that we would have one kid in a condo in a big city. We ended up with two kids in a big old house in a small city. What happened? Aside from some life events that were unexpected, we just really liked DS and thought we should take the genetic crap-shoot again. I should say that DS was one of the easiest babies and young toddlers around (I didn't believe this when people told at at the time, but now I know it to be true). I could pass him off to anyone, he slept pretty well and he really didn't stop us from doing the stuff that we liked to do. Now that I've had my DD though, I understand why people can be traumatized by infants. The kind that have reflux and throw up a lot and scream a lot and never want other people to hold them are a whole 'nother experience. My DD is turning into a sweet and lively (though difficult) toddler now and I have no regrets about having two kids. But if she had been my first, we'd probably only have one.
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Permalink Reply by wookie on -
Can I just throw something out? I know it's an internet standard, but one of the things I've always liked about offsprung is that we don't feel the need to use the DearHusband/Son/Daughter ancryonyms here.
Maybe you really like them and you really like expressing how dear they are to you at every opportunity. I'm cool with that if you feel that way, but because most of the time I see those and cringe, I just wanted to throw it out:
They're your son, husband, daughter. It's okay to not put the "dear" in front of them.
But dear god, I wholeheartedly agree with you on how much reflux SUCKS.
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Permalink Reply by mcglory13 on -
I always like to imagine some other random D word in front of Son or Husband or whatever.
Demented Son
Defenestrated Daughter
Dangerous Husband
But it's true. Here at OS we instead make up weird pseudonyms for our children and spouse. Like my child: Smudge.
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Permalink Reply by G to the G on -
This is funny to me... OS - the least judge-y parenting website ever... check your internet-izms at the door!
Ha!
Doc - to your original question - I wondered about this too... I'm firmly in the only kid camp but lately even diaper commercials get my ovaries clinching. I'm hoping it passes soon because my true desire is not to have any more. I would venture to say it is different for everyone... but my deciding factors have centered around partnerships, age and money.KS - I'm crushing on you after that statement.
Zealflyer - we did all sort of make up silly names... for example my ex is The Surfer. My son is El Destructo (from his 2-4 years). I really like it as a group because it just tells us a little bit more about the family without getting too personal for the internet...ya know? :)
(nobody better give me shit about the smiley face)
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Permalink Reply by Jersey on -
I always knew I wanted 3. I was the oldest of 3 and I just really like the dynamic. We used to fight like crazy, but now we are all close and I couldn't imagine not having my sisters. I know this isn't going to sound very pleasant, but if it wasn't for my youngest sister, my middle sister and I would most likely not be very close at all. We are about as different as two siblings can possibly be. With a 3rd person in the mix, there is always someone else to help smooth things over or give you a reason to talk. For example, a good excuse to pick up the phone and call my middle sister (even when I might not truly want to), is if I know my younger sister isn't feeling well, but I haven't spoken to her. I can do the whole "hey have you talked to sister x lately? Oh you have? Good, just checking. So anyway, how are things? Blah, blah, blah..." It just seems like, with only 2 people, it's easier to let a little annoyance turn into a big problem and separate from that person instead of making the effort. Whereas, with that 3rd person in the mix, you tend to let it go for the sake of keeping things peaceful.
I do see it with my own children. Two of them can be fighting like crazy, but then the 3rd one will step in and want to do something fun, and then suddenly, because no one wants to fight with the 3rd one who didn't have anything to do with the original fight, they just let whatever it was go and within minutes they're joking around and doing something together. I don't know if this makes any sense, I'm tired, so I hope it does. Anyway, that's my reason behind wanting 3 kids.
Oh, and this post reminds me, I really do need to come up with some nicknames for my kids on here. I usually just refer to them as oldest, middle, youngest. That's just so...bleh...
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Permalink Reply by Zealflyer on
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I thought it was "Damn Husband", "Damn Daughter" and "Damn Son" (resisting the urge to use a smiley face). It's true, one of the things I like about offsprung is that it's lot less saccharine than most parenting sites, To be honest Wookie, the whole "dear" thing used to really bug me , but it's just one of those internet things that I've gotten used to. I'll come up with some fancy handles though, just as soon as my brain starts working (I'm on auto-pilot this early in the day).
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Permalink Reply by Zealflyer on
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OK, from here on in my "dear" family will be referred to as follows:
DH: The Curmudge
DS: Mr. Questions
DD: Cozy Trouble
This all reminding me of the first time that I typed on a chat board. It was actually a friend of mine that was chatting - I don't think that I even had a computer at the time. He told me to type something, so I did, and the other person responded, "WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?" I guess that I hit the caps lock while I was typing. What can I say - I've been 'net dumb since the start.
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Permalink Reply by mcglory13 on
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Heh. Damn son. I feel that way a lot.
I remember when people said the internet was going to erase racism, sexism, etc. Because on the net, we'd all be equal, right? Nope. Everybody is presumed to be a straight white male unless they otherwise identify themselves. And people developed coded ways of speaking that made it clear who was an insider versus an outside really fast. I was just talking to the guy giving me a massage yesterday about how anthropologists are now studying groups of people who don't exist in real life but only in cyberspace.
All of this is to say, you rock. On other internet boards this might have caused some kind of strange holy war, but on this one we just get Mr. Questions (which is a name that frankly I wish I'd thought of first. Do they EVER stop it with the questions??).
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Permalink Reply by Zealflyer on
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Seriously, this kid can fit more questions into a minute than you'd think possible. Some really great questions and a whole lot of pretty ridiculous ones too. I've always thought that it was great when kids were inquisitive, but I have to sometimes impose a cease-questions period on the little dude. Because his constant stream of inquisition completely derails my train of thought sometimes.
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Permalink Reply by mcglory13 on
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I've told him before that I've run out of answers and it was going to take awhile before I was restocked. I've also told him that if he'd just learn to read (he CAN read, he can sound things out, he just doesn't WANT to) he could answer all of his other questions. That's the other weird one for me. I started reading at age 3. He's at 5.5 and content to let us read to him. If he was reading on his own, he could entertain himself a lot easier.
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Permalink Reply by Boring User Name on -
Oh, the questions. We reached an agreement that he could ask two questions at bedtime (you know, after stories, before he is asleep). The first questions were things like "Where's Bear?" and "What are we doing tomorrow?" Now, we are up to "How do you make electricity/plastic/etc?" or my favorite "Where did the first people come from, if there was no one there to have them?"
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