Offsprung

An irreverent, inclusive, alternative parenting community

I have a three-way. A tie, I mean:

"Lisa, I'd like to buy your rock."

"That doll is evil! Evil, I tells ya! EEEEEEEEEEEE-VILLLLLLLLL!"

"He cam to life. Good for him."

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"Oh boy sleep. That's where I'm a viking!"
The Cape Fear episode when Sideshow Bob is under the car and Homer says "Who wants to drive through the cactus patch?"
Man, late to the party and you've taken all the good ones!

I choo-choo-choose you!

Sax-a-ma-phone, sax-a-ma-phone!
You cannot force me to choose! But here are the ones in heavy rotation in the CJRW household...

Ralph - "That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things!"

Lisa (reading Ralph's note) - "'Look in the tunk.' I think he means trunk."

Homer (to Ned) - "Don't ever speak ill of the program!"


Also, the entirety of the Mr. Plow song, almost all the quotes previously mentioned, and the "Mediocre Presidents" song.
I've always been partial to the bit where Sideshow Bob performs the HMS Pinafore.
From Reverend Lovejoy: ". . . be they Christian (looks at Ned and family), Jew (looks at Krusty) or miscellaneous (looks at Apu)." Then Apu: "Hindu. There are 700 million of us!"

And I show the Homer^3 part of Treehouse of Horror VI every semester I teach physics II--it's great for black holes and general relativity. And the episode where Lisa decides to combat light pollution for the astronomy class when we do the chapter on telescopes.

You can make the Simpsons relevant to anything.
"Bacon up that sausage, boy."

"Yes, I was drinking gasoline, mother."

"'Sentence fragment' is also a sentence fragment."

"Save me from the wee turtles!"

"I want some taquitos."
Yeah...I can't really narrow it down to a favorite. Here are a few gems off the top of my head:

Homer: Is this a religious thing?
Krusty: A religious clown thing, yes.

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Marge: Is this how you pictured married life?
Homer: Pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

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Linguo: ERR-RROR!

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Mr. Burns (to an inspection team): There must be some mistake. We make cookies here. Mr. Burns' old-fashioned good time extra chewy ....

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Lisa: Does this family know any songs that aren't commercials?
Simpsons: I feel like chicken tonight! Like chicken tonight! Like chicken tonight!

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Homer: Ah, your flesh mother used to bring me pudding.

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Rev Lovejoy: I will now read the special vows which Homer has prepared. Marge, will you take Homer in richness and in poorness -- poorness is underlined -- in quiet solitude or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet-powered, monkey-navigated . . . and it goes on like this.
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Marge: Is this how you pictured married life?
Homer: Pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

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Ha! I can't believe I forgot that one.

Also, "You look like you have something to say Poochie. Do you?"
Lisa: Did you know the Chinese use the same word for 'crisis" as they do for 'opportunity'?
Homer: Yep. Crisitunity!

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Krusty: Where's the producer? I want to talk about this coffee!

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Homer: I'll Kwaanza you!


(I will never get tired of this post...)
I have a new one!

"hey Fat Tony, I know you've been selling drugs at the high school but I'm willing to look the other way. IF you'll agree to go to my son Ralph's birthday party on Saturday. It'll be a lot of fun! Batman will be there..."

"I'm not messin' around with no Batman!"
I think we all missed the mostly used one - D'oh!

Also, "To alcohol; the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems".

Homer: Marge, I'm not going to lie to you.

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