When I met my husband I was a bartender. Both of us got tired of me working that job, so he was like, “Hey if you go back to school, I’ll pay the bills and take care of us while you get a degree.”
So he took care of me for 5 years while I was in school, never complaining. Now, unknown to me all that time he was counting the days until I graduated and got a great job so that I could help with the household finances. Now this was my plan anyway....but what happened was I got pregnant a month before I graduated. As soon as I graduated morning sickness hit, but it was horrid, like I had the flu and it lasted a month. So instead of getting a job, I spent my days at home throwing up and generally being super miserable. Apparently my husband resented that because he still had to work the job he hated, while I was enjoying (yeah right) my time off doing nothing (uh puking my guts out and being lethargic and unhappy).
Then we went on our 2 week vacation and he was like, when we get back you need to find a job. And I was like, yeah I know. Well I came back and applied everywhere and no one hired me. Then I started getting a few commissions here or there or occasionally selling painting. I also took a very part time job assisting a dog walker. Which I love, I get paid to exercise and I love dogs. The problem with that is if an owner cancels, then the dog walker does not need me so I do not get paid for that day. Plus it is only like 1 hour a day, so I barely make anything with it anyway. So mostly I work at home, painting or doing occasional freelance Graphic Design. So I am not a total loser, I am just not making a lot of money right now.
My problem is my husband is acting very resentful of this. He threw a fit because he hates his job and I “get” to stay home. And he is upset because lately I want us to save money for the baby and the move, oh and I put every penny I earn into savings, but he is upset because he cannot buy whatever he wants. He thinks it is unfair that he works so hard at a job he hates but he does not get to buy whatever he wants with the money. And I am not spending money, I cut way back, yet he wants new parts for his bike, new shoes, new shirts, new video games...not needs, just wants. And if I tell him we cannot afford this he gets this annoying mullish look on his face and I can tell he is all upset, because he could buy it if I had a full time job. Oh and he decided a couple months ago that seeing he hated his job so much he was going to stop doing overtime. I supported this because I wanted him to be happy, but he still wants to spend, spend, spend and acts like it is my fault he cannot because, yes, from the chorus now, I do not have a full time job.
And I never asked for any of this. It was his idea to get married, his idea to have kids.... I am so sorry I did not get a job the second I got out of school. It’s not my fault, I fuckin try all the time to get work.
I am just really upset today because he got paid and because he now refuses to work overtime the check was way less then we expected it to be. So when he comes home and I tell him after we paid all the bills we do not have extra money he is going to be annoyed and resentful again, because he feels it is my fault for not having a full time job.
And I hate crying, I feel it is bad for the baby.