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Do It Yourself Social Life
We've been living in this area for almost 4 years now and really don't have any friends. We have some regular faces from the school and I know a couple of people from my part time jobs but nothing you'd call a real friend, friend.
I'm wondering about starting a regular monthly card night. I joined a Bunco group to try and have a social life but Bunco is stupid....I know, the point is not the game but the talking with the other women at the evening out (and drinking but that's not the way it's done in this town). Most of the other women have little wee kids and with my youngest at 6 it's not polite for me to gloat about my full night's sleep every night or the fact that I haven't wiped anyone else's arse in 2 years. Can't imagine why we aren't all hitting it off.
This is the kind of town where everyone grew up here - or they formed friendships when the kids were in preschool and if you didn't get in on the ground floor you don't count. It even happens in the schools where my daughter had a heck of a time making friends because she was (and still is) the new kid.
So I'm wondering if it's weird to start a couples card night - I'd invite a mix of people from the school parents and from work. If you were invited to do something like that would you be interested or does it come off as ooky and desperate?
I was really good about putting myself out there to make friends when we moved to Austin but since moving to NY it's not happening. I know it's February and all that but I'm getting sick of my own company.
So - fabo idea or loser city?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by bethany on -
I think its a good idea. In my experience, lots of people want to socialize more, but aren't planners. My husband is one of those--will say yes to an invite but never takes the initiative to plan anything. I'm usually Julie the Cruise Director for my social circle.
Good luck!
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Permalink Reply by Mamawho on
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I think it's a good idea. I have no social life either, so I understand.
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Permalink Reply by MamatothaMax on -
Gob do I understand. We've been in Norfolk a year and a half and I just now have started a sort of a circle of friends. I was thinking about having a biweekly or monthly game night (board and or card games or simple Wii games) for the wives and husbands of sailors on the Barry. We've only got the ship and our spouses in common but it's a start right?
I'm going to say that it's a fantastically genius idea since I had the same one. :)
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Permalink Reply by Kiwi on -
I think this is a very good idea. Maybe your other half could invite friends from wherever he works too.
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Permalink Reply by Boring User Name on -
If your daughter is also struggling what about a bar-b-que or something where the kids come? That also eliminates the lack of a sitter excuse for people.
As for card night, I'm not a card player, so I would hesitate a bit to card night. I've seen a few invitations go out that do make a passing reference to the non-card playing folks. That's appreciated from my perspective.
But overall, I say go for it. One town I lived in also had lots of people who were all high school friends. It was really, really tough. But where I live now, it just took one friend who always put together a group of people to go out for basketball games for me to find a great group of friends (and a husband, for that matter).
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Permalink Reply by Joe Mama on -
I would definitely come - its been five years here for me and I'm just starting to feel like I am developing friends at work - but I have only been to two events (as a last second Bunco substitute) that weren't work-related events. Our house has been in an almost constant state of repair since we moved so my natural hermit tendencies are encouraged, but it is more than a little depressing trying to break into a crowd who have known each other for decades.
What about reaching out to folks like you who are relatively new to the area? Or give me a week to drive to you and I'll come.
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Permalink Reply by Mommy Monster on -
Totally feel your pain. We've been here 7 years and the few people we count as real friends we only see a few times a year. And they live less than a mile away. It sucks!
I would love to come to your card night!!
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Permalink Reply by TommysMommy on -
What about board games rather than cards? If someone brought a different game each time, it would play off people's strengths. Or you could learn a new card game every couple of times? I love canasta and gin rummy but I've always wanted to learn poker!
So is this why we are all such good internet friends? We have no friends in real life? ;-) We are in the same boat. We have good friends from university but none of them have kids yet so when they want to party late or set up a Risk game that goes for hours, we have to leave. And since our house isn't ready yet, we can't have them over and put the kids to bed. Soon, soon! But I'm finding it really hard to find some "mommy" friends who aren't already deep with someone else. I just want someone to have coffee with! And playdates! Our new house has a couple next door with a 3 month old girl and a 3 year old boy and down the street is someone with a 11 month old girl. Hopefully we'll all be able to make new friends.
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We all need to get together again. Assuming we don't get blizzarded again, stranding us in our homes for several weeks.
Joe Mama said:I would definitely come - its been five years here for me and I'm just starting to feel like I am developing friends at work - but I have only been to two events (as a last second Bunco substitute) that weren't work-related events. Our house has been in an almost constant state of repair since we moved so my natural hermit tendencies are encouraged, but it is more than a little depressing trying to break into a crowd who have known each other for decades.
What about reaching out to folks like you who are relatively new to the area? Or give me a week to drive to you and I'll come.
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Permalink Reply by sasychica on -
You could play strip poker and really get to know some new friends ;)
Ok, so I was really just kidding. I think card night or game night/ cocktail party sounds fun. I have been feeling like I need to spread my social butterfly wings lately, but am a little nervous to venture out as a newly single (sort of) lady.
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Permalink Reply by mcglory13 on -
I think that sounds like fun, though I'd do a boardgame(s) over cards. We are always up for meeting new friends. Though we've been here long enough that we're lucky to have various kinds of friends, my "academic" friendships are all coming to a close as I move out of that world, so I will have to work on replacing them. In grad school we had a ton of fun playing Apples to Apples, Beyond Balderdash, and Settlers of Catan.
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