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Day Camp and Gut Feelings
My 4-year-old twins are signed up for day camp for two weeks this summer: one they've already done, and the other they're about to start. I knew that getting them adjusted to it was going to be a hurdle: it's their first time spent in an institutional atmosphere (they were in a family-based daycare prior to this), and it is in French, the girls' second language.
I have had reservations about this camp from the beginning: they seem grossly disorganized, and there has been a never-ending fiasco with the girls' swim caps not coming home at the end of the day. They need the caps for time in the pool, and they denote by colour what level of swimmer the girls are (i.e. non swimmers/minimal skills). I have not even laid a hand on A's cap because it's never made it home, and yet the camp has been insistent that I need to pay $5 to replace the cap each time. Tomorrow, for instance, I am supposed to start the day by buying her yet another cap, which makes for a cap a day since camp began (their father and I have managed to convince them not to charge us twice, but that's still $15 we have put into caps that neither of us has ever seen).
Added to the stress, and indeed the biggest source of stress for me since the beginning, is the fact that this province has an abominable record for drownings, mostly of children, and mostly due to lack of proper supervision. While the majority of the drownings (over 40 this summer alone) have occurred in private pools at residences, the very first day we got back from vacation last week, the first news story I heard was about a 5-year-old in critical condition after nearly drowning in a day camp in the neighbourhood adjacent to ours. I am very uneasy about this fact and have never been comfortable with the idea of my children around water without me or their father present. The fact that this camp seems disorganized and run by overly young people does not help ease my concern.
In addition, the girls are adamant about not going back, saying that there is a wicked witch there that's not imaginary (they play imaginary games at camp) and begging me to "go see for myself." I asked the girls' dad, who had them this weekend, to get to the bottom of these allegations by asking them about it further and he came back and got the girls to recite by rote: "We have to go to camp tomorrow because mama and papa have to work." That wasn't what I wanted. I have asked the girls to go along with camp for tomorrow but that I wanted them to remember everything that happened there and to tell me clearly at the end of the day the truth about their experiences. I'm thinking I'll pull them from it if need be, but in truth right now I don't even want to send them tomorrow. I have a sick feeling about it. My work is at home and on my thesis so if I have to sacrifice this week, I will.
Please help, hivemind. I don't know what to do.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by kommishoner on -
Fascinating. I remember when I was a kid there being quite a few drownings related to kids getting into neighbors' pools, etc, and now we have laws upon laws about it (they're called "attractive nuisance" laws, which I find to be a charming turn of phrase, despite their sad purpose). There's tons of liability for homeowners who don't secure in-ground pools with fences, etc. Now, I've seen tons of those temporary pools (3-4 ft deep) that don't appear to need securing, so I don't know how that works.
Interestingly, a friend of mine lived in Australia for a few years and said that tourists from the US have the greatest reputation for injuries related to safety hazards. There are so many warning signs for every imaginable thing here (see above re: homeowner/landowner liability) that it doesn't occur to Americans that, without a sign, maybe we shouldn't walk right up to the very edge of that very high cliff, or stick our hand through the holes in the tiger cage, or jump into the water at Bondi Beach during Great White season. ;) We are a nation of coddled geniuses, I guess. ;)
guinnessgoddess said:At the park now while the girls picnic. Kommish, the drownings are part of a cultural aversion to rules and order: most of the deaths have been at homes where pools were not properly fenced and gated according to regulations. There is such a laissez-faire attitude here to all measures of safety and resistance to having the government tell citizens how to be safe. Despite a ban on cell phones while driving, I see it all the time, and the police stop nobody because everybody breaks the rules. There was just an article in a national paper recently which said that Quebeckers have more private pools than other people in Canada. This article (entitled "Explaining Quebec's Love of the Outdoor Dip") woefully neglected to mention the drownings. Another complication is a very low rate of swimming skills in the population. About rules, though, I just had a friend leave the province because he could not get safety regulations enforced as a circus aerial rigger. He was often expected to put his life in danger and go without a harness ffor the sake of $50. He was considered a wuss if he wanted to follow rules. It is so pervasive.
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Permalink Reply by guinnessgoddess on -
I have noticed that about the U.S. I remember the first time I went there as an adult and noticed the warnings on menus about ordering undercooked fish, meat, or eggs. And the warnings on beer bottles about drinking during pregnancy. Yeah, such signage simply does not appear here, and that's fine with me, especially because the way people are here, a label against something would be treated as a challenge to do it.
kommishoner said:Fascinating. I remember when I was a kid there being quite a few drownings related to kids getting into neighbors' pools, etc, and now we have laws upon laws about it (they're called "attractive nuisance" laws, which I find to be a charming turn of phrase, despite their sad purpose). There's tons of liability for homeowners who don't secure in-ground pools with fences, etc. Now, I've seen tons of those temporary pools (3-4 ft deep) that don't appear to need securing, so I don't know how that works.
Interestingly, a friend of mine lived in Australia for a few years and said that tourists from the US have the greatest reputation for injuries related to safety hazards. There are so many warning signs for every imaginable thing here (see above re: homeowner/landowner liability) that it doesn't occur to Americans that, without a sign, maybe we shouldn't walk right up to the very edge of that very high cliff, or stick our hand through the holes in the tiger cage, or jump into the water at Bondi Beach during Great White season. ;) We are a nation of coddled geniuses, I guess. ;)
guinnessgoddess said:At the park now while the girls picnic. Kommish, the drownings are part of a cultural aversion to rules and order: most of the deaths have been at homes where pools were not properly fenced and gated according to regulations. There is such a laissez-faire attitude here to all measures of safety and resistance to having the government tell citizens how to be safe. Despite a ban on cell phones while driving, I see it all the time, and the police stop nobody because everybody breaks the rules. There was just an article in a national paper recently which said that Quebeckers have more private pools than other people in Canada. This article (entitled "Explaining Quebec's Love of the Outdoor Dip") woefully neglected to mention the drownings. Another complication is a very low rate of swimming skills in the population. About rules, though, I just had a friend leave the province because he could not get safety regulations enforced as a circus aerial rigger. He was often expected to put his life in danger and go without a harness ffor the sake of $50. He was considered a wuss if he wanted to follow rules. It is so pervasive.
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Permalink Reply by Herasmus B. Dragon on
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Yes. We need warnings on our hair dryers to not use it in the shower.
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Permalink Reply by mightyninjamom on -
It's times like these that I am unsure whether to be pleased or embarrassed to be American. As a nation, we seem to have so little common sense.
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Permalink Reply by hermit crab on -
And are so damned litigious.
mightyninjamom said:It's times like these that I am unsure whether to be pleased or embarrassed to be American. As a nation, we seem to have so little common sense.
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Permalink Reply by guinnessgoddess on
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So today I talked to the direction (I feel this is a Franco-ism but am only coming up with other Franco-isms in its place; I have been translating this whole experience back into English as I go), who listened to my concerns and tried to calm me about them. I was so irate with the lack of organization there this morning that I almost cried when talking to them. They're going on a field trip to a Santa's Village somewhere today, and I signed a permission slip for it weeks ago, but here's the thing: I was never told there was swimming involved. Who swims at the North Pole? So I got the girls there this morning and was told I'd have to put the girls' bathing suits on under their clothes, and so I did, while being rushed by the camp leaders while little boys looked on giggling. It was frustrating and embarrassing. I then had to apply extra sunblock to the appropriate spots of their bodies exposed by the swimsuits; in the meantime the group was lined up and started walking out of the gymnasium with my daughters left behind (we were not late, but rather perfectly in the window for drop-offs). When I talked to the direction about my concerns about water, they said "oh, the water there is only about up to your knees." CHILDREN CAN STILL DROWN IN THAT LEVEL OF WATER! I caught a glimpse of the documentation regarding the field trip and apparently there is only ONE adult per 12 children. I should have gone and gotten the girls back then. Or required more information on the field trip. Or just never have given permission. I am a wreck. I get the girls back in three hours and so far my phone has been quiet but I'm edgy and emotional and have a stomachache. My only comfort is that I told them to always watch each other in the pool and not to play rough or carelessly in water. It's pretty bad when I'm relying on one 4-year-old to look out for the other.
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Permalink Reply by kommishoner on
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Wow. I'd be furious. What are the staffing requirements for swimming? Also, can you send the girls with life jackets?
These people do seem really harried and disorganized, and unabashedly so. I don't know what to tell you about how to deal with them, because as I'm sitting here thinking "what would I do?" the answer is basically "march into the director's office, read them the riot act, accuse them of violating the law and promise that if one hair on my kid's head is out of line when I pick him up, I will personally rip someone limb from limb, then sue the shit out of them, and then burn every bridge there is to burn with them and salt the earth on both sides." Perhaps my method is not so productive. ;)
I think you'd be entirely within reason to keep them home the rest of the week if you wanted. And probably to demand your money back for the unused days. But for the rest of today, take some deep breaths. Children can still drown in that level of water, sure, but it's a lot harder, especially at four, when they're strong and stable and have good balance. Your girls are strong, and even though it's a lot to ask, they look out for each other, and they're smart, and they're self-preservationists. They have the good instincts to stay away from situations that feel like too much, or feel dangerous, and that's really good. You They're going to be okay. But I know how you must feel, and I'm sending you a giant hug anyway.
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Permalink Reply by guinnessgoddess on
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Thanks. Only two more hours until I collect them. Deep breaths and a good cry on the phone with my mother just now. A specific example of my frustration: when I put them in their bathing suits, I told the camp leader that they were only sunblocked for wearing shorts and a t-shirt, so they'd need sunblock on their backs, etc. She said they would do that part later. I said "except the sunblock is in their backpacks, and you've just told them they're leaving their backpacks behind for the outing. So did you want to take this bottle?" to which she replied "Oh, you'd better do it then." They just don't think like parents. There was even a discussion about whether the backpacks were going or staying: nobody seemed to know what to do. Arrgh. I'm going to keep the girls home for the rest of the week and just absorb the lost cost. I don't want to deal with them anymore.
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Permalink Reply by mightyninjamom on
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That is unacceptable. I think you're doing the right thing. And big hugs from me, too. I'd also be a wreck.
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Permalink Reply by Boring User Name on -
I don't think any of the teachers at our preschool are parents*, but they think more like one than I do. They remember sunscreen. They make sure they drink enough water. They do constant headcounts. They arrange chaperones to get the count on field trips to 1 adults to 3 kids. They check lunches for common allergens. They send emails telling us exactly what to send on field trips. Then again, this is America. It may not be them. It might be DCFS guidelines.
A good decision. I hope you have an enjoyable (or at least sane) week with them.
*As an aside, can I say how lucky I feel that we have so many adults in our life who don't have their own kids, but love and adore mine?
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Permalink Reply by Boring User Name on
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Chicago passed a law banning the sale of crib bumpers. I was supportive of this law because every organization says not to use them. But what did I see on comment after comment for the news stories? "But, they have to be safe. They are still for sale." I guess on the one hand, I wish people could exercise common sense, but since they can't then we need to pass laws (especially concerning kids).
mightyninjamom said:It's times like these that I am unsure whether to be pleased or embarrassed to be American. As a nation, we seem to have so little common sense.
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Permalink Reply by wookie on -
Ah, but your preschool teachers have likely had a year or more of training, in something like Early Childhood Education, to be preschool teachers.
Summer camp counsellor is a summer job for teenagers.
Boring User Name said:I don't think any of the teachers at our preschool are parents*, but they think more like one than I do. They remember sunscreen. They make sure they drink enough water. They do constant headcounts. They arrange chaperones to get the count on field trips to 1 adults to 3 kids. They check lunches for common allergens. They send emails telling us exactly what to send on field trips. Then again, this is America. It may not be them. It might be DCFS guidelines.
A good decision. I hope you have an enjoyable (or at least sane) week with them.
*As an aside, can I say how lucky I feel that we have so many adults in our life who don't have their own kids, but love and adore mine?
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