I'm not sure where The Boy got this "Must Win / Must Never Make a Mistake" attitude, but good grief is it causing him some problems this year.
I just found out from his kindergarten teacher that he's been throwing obstacles in the path of kids who run faster than him on the playground. (How "Looney Tunes.") And he becomes inconsolable if he's not the first/best/fastest at any given thing. He can write, but he sometimes refuses to do it for fear of making a mistake. He kicks ass at math, but he gets upset if the teacher offers him some more challenging material that he can't solve immediately.
Those of you who have kids like this, how do you deal with it? What coping skills have you taught them that work?
At what age, cognitively, emotionally and socially are kids able to understand that no matter how well or not well you do at something, that sabotaging or hurting other people is NOT OKAY?
What does it mean when it's seen in a very young child? At what age, cognitively, emotionally and socially are kids able to understand that no matter how well or not well you do at something, that sabotaging or hurting other people is NOT OKAY?
SW - I don't think FP was implying that he didn't feel the need to be perfect in math, just the opposite - he fears mistakes so much that he will shy away from any new challenge that might pose a risk to that perfection. Just a thought - is he old enough to try the "I'm really good at this, and you are really good at that - but no one is good at everything!" approach? We worked this strategy with #1 son to emphasize that gifts come in many forms and not to get snotty because he was happened to be smart because his peers were really good at other things that were hard for him.