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Choosing a doctor for your kids

I don't like doctors - I mean I really do not like doctors. I have a hard time trusting them, I get nervous just setting an appointment to go to one, I really do not like them. I even have had issues with bringing my children to doctors - with very few exceptions. I loved my primary care physician when I was about 22-24. I loved my midwife when I had Ro. I love my current OB/GYN and I absolutely adored my son's pediatrician. I mean like, this man was my hero and made me feel like there is hope that one day I could just trust doctors.

So a week and a half ago, I got one of the worst letters I've ever received in my life. My son's doctor, an amazing, fantastic, wonderful young man, died suddenly and tragically in an at home accident. Beside feeling the heart break of knowing this wonderful person no longer walks among us, I felt absolutely horrible for his family. I would expect anybody goes through a bit of shock and horror when somebody they know professionally is suddenly gone, but this felt particularly horrible. Kind of like a personal loss that I have no right to feel personally hurt by because I didn't know him like those who truly loved him.

All of that said, I'm still grieving the loss of somebody wonderful. Somebody I trusted. Somebody I kind of loved - in the way one can only love somebody they don't really know personally. So what comes next? I don't feel like I can replace him. He's the kind of doctor who would call you back on a holiday weekend just to talk you down when you were unnecessarily worrying about your boy. He was the kind who would call the county health department to get complete statistics on just how little you need to worry - and then he would call you back in the evening hours when he would rather be playing with his own children.

But doctors are important and I need a new doctor for the boy. How do I go about doing that? In the past I always either randomly fall in with somebody I don't respect or magically find "the one". Do you have a better method?

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Permalink Reply by kanachick on January 10, 2011 at 4:29pm

I am so fucking stupid...why did I post this? Why would I tempt fate by saying that we don't go to the doctor's very much. I'm an idiot. 3 days, 3 children to the doctor's. I'm going to just shut up now.

kanachick said:

I'm so sorry to hear about your doctor.

As for my choices...I just went with the recommendation from the lady at the YMCA when we moved here. They're fine. I don't care for the nurses but the receptionist is nice and the doctors seem easygoing and fine. I like that they don't recognize us when we walk in because it means we're not there very much. Back when the kids were little we'd be at the doctor's all the time...I prefer it when we don't see each other much.

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Permalink Reply by Boring User Name on January 11, 2011 at 8:43am

Our pediatrician is fine. It's a bigger practice group and I actually like that. It's efficient, they have a good system for walk-in appointments and calls. My kid doesn't have any quirky issues, so it usually works fine if a nurse practitioner or another doctor calls us back.

I've asked my primary care for other recommendations and she totally comes through. I went to one allergist and didn't like him. When it was time to go back, I asked her for one. She actually called the first one "odd." That amused me. New allergist is the greatest!

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Permalink Reply by StitchyWench on January 11, 2011 at 5:56pm

Oh no!

kanachick said:

I am so fucking stupid...why did I post this? Why would I tempt fate by saying that we don't go to the doctor's very much. I'm an idiot. 3 days, 3 children to the doctor's. I'm going to just shut up now.

kanachick said:
I'm so sorry to hear about your doctor.

As for my choices...I just went with the recommendation from the lady at the YMCA when we moved here. They're fine. I don't care for the nurses but the receptionist is nice and the doctors seem easygoing and fine. I like that they don't recognize us when we walk in because it means we're not there very much. Back when the kids were little we'd be at the doctor's all the time...I prefer it when we don't see each other much.

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Permalink Reply by Meghan on January 13, 2011 at 10:55am

AH Kana, I hope all will be well from now on.

I started looking ad Peds that were associated with the closest hospital to us and called around to see who was taking new patients and asking whoever answered the phone how the doctor was. I interviewed one and thought he was competent and not at all pushy, so I wouldn't feel pushed into any decisions. It worked out. His practice is across the street from the hospital, so after Ro was born the doctor was there for the initial check ups and then when Ro was 10 months and we were 3 days at the hospital the doctor was there every morning at 7am to check on us and let us know what was going on.

So I would say get referrals, but make sure you pick someone fairly close to you, and don't be afraid to interview. You are paying money for a service, so you are the boss/customer and do not be intimidated.