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Choosing a doctor for your kids
I don't like doctors - I mean I really do not like doctors. I have a hard time trusting them, I get nervous just setting an appointment to go to one, I really do not like them. I even have had issues with bringing my children to doctors - with very few exceptions. I loved my primary care physician when I was about 22-24. I loved my midwife when I had Ro. I love my current OB/GYN and I absolutely adored my son's pediatrician. I mean like, this man was my hero and made me feel like there is hope that one day I could just trust doctors.
So a week and a half ago, I got one of the worst letters I've ever received in my life. My son's doctor, an amazing, fantastic, wonderful young man, died suddenly and tragically in an at home accident. Beside feeling the heart break of knowing this wonderful person no longer walks among us, I felt absolutely horrible for his family. I would expect anybody goes through a bit of shock and horror when somebody they know professionally is suddenly gone, but this felt particularly horrible. Kind of like a personal loss that I have no right to feel personally hurt by because I didn't know him like those who truly loved him.
All of that said, I'm still grieving the loss of somebody wonderful. Somebody I trusted. Somebody I kind of loved - in the way one can only love somebody they don't really know personally. So what comes next? I don't feel like I can replace him. He's the kind of doctor who would call you back on a holiday weekend just to talk you down when you were unnecessarily worrying about your boy. He was the kind who would call the county health department to get complete statistics on just how little you need to worry - and then he would call you back in the evening hours when he would rather be playing with his own children.
But doctors are important and I need a new doctor for the boy. How do I go about doing that? In the past I always either randomly fall in with somebody I don't respect or magically find "the one". Do you have a better method?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by The Oracle on -
Oh man, SW, I'm sorry. That is horrible and sad.
And I feel the same way about doctors. My favorite one ever was so good that she got promoted into administration. Oh yay.
And I don't have any good advice about finding a new one except, I guess, to ask around among people you know and trust. And shop around. We've seen three different family docs since we moved here and I'm not convinced we've found the right one yet. But I don't have the energy to start with someone new, again, for a while.
Good luck.
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Permalink Reply by Mommy Monster on -
I'm so sorry. I totally get what you mean. With both my kids having health issues, I literally cried when Raidne had her last hematology appointment when we were moving away from San Francisco. AND, when I didn't like what our new ped in Atlanta told me right after we moved here, I called her. And she helped me. I grok loving your doctor.
Did your ped have partners or was he a solo guy? I would call and talk to the staff. They could probably recommend someone who has a similar approach.
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Permalink Reply by Herasmus B. Dragon on
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I'm so sorry to hear those terrible circumstances of his death!
I have spread out the love for practical purposes. By choosing practices with multiple rotating doctors at one location within a hospital system, I am.guaranteed someone will be available, even as late as 8 pm.
True, we don't have a personal connection and the doctors don't recognize my kids when they come in, but there aren't many of those left around here.
That being said, I would LOVE a doc with a personal connection.
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Permalink Reply by StitchyWench on -
Both of my kids go to a local branch of a big teaching hospital organization. I like Ri's doctor for her, but she's not got Ro. They have others in the group, whom we've seen in an urgent care situation, but none of them were the same.
Herasmus B. Dragon said:I'm so sorry to hear those terrible circumstances of his death! I have spread out the love for practical purposes. By choosing practices with multiple rotating doctors at one location within a hospital system, I am.guaranteed someone will be available, even as late as 8 pm.
True, we don't have a personal connection and the doctors don't recognize my kids when they come in, but there aren't many of those left around here.
That being said, I would LOVE a doc with a personal connection.
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Permalink Reply by kanachick on -
I'm so sorry to hear about your doctor.
As for my choices...I just went with the recommendation from the lady at the YMCA when we moved here. They're fine. I don't care for the nurses but the receptionist is nice and the doctors seem easygoing and fine. I like that they don't recognize us when we walk in because it means we're not there very much. Back when the kids were little we'd be at the doctor's all the time...I prefer it when we don't see each other much.
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Permalink Reply by Mamawho on
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We have been in health systems that assign a doctor - it's really not a bad thing because you can switch or request a specific doctor once you're in the system. We have really lucked out, too, even getting a doctor who started practicing medicine with an Indian tribe, and GW had some typical Native American lactose intolerance issues, and she zeroed in on them immediately. I brought GW in for a routine 4 month appt, and she ended up taking my temperature and prescribing an antibiotic for me, because *I* was sick, and hadn't quite realized it yet. (I just thought I was hot, and of course I was tired, I had an infant.) This was all in the military system. We had similar good fortune in the Indian Health Services clinics and tribal clinics in Oklahoma.
GirlWho hasn't had a regular pediatrician in quite a while. I take her to a walk-in clinic for physicals, immunizations, and sick appointments. If I needed a doctor for her for a specific reason, I'd consult my geneticist or physical med clinic for a referral.
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Permalink Reply by StitchyWench on
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Lately I only go to the walk in zoomcare clinic when I need to be seen. They do all, too and it is very convenient and thorough. So far I've had good luck. I just feel it adds to my feelings of disconnect with my doctors. At least I have my GYN. She's brilliant! I have searched forever for somebody like her. Now I, of course, do not love my annual exam, but at least I don't dread, loathe and avoid it for longer than I should.
There was one doc we saw once at that clinic who was pretty good, and I do love the receptionist. The nurses always seem good, too - so we'll definitely stay where we are. Hopefully I won't need them much anymore, now that the kids are getting bigger.
Mamawho said:We have been in health systems that assign a doctor - it's really not a bad thing because you can switch or request a specific doctor once you're in the system. We have really lucked out, too, even getting a doctor who started practicing medicine with an Indian tribe, and GW had some typical Native American lactose intolerance issues, and she zeroed in on them immediately. I brought GW in for a routine 4 month appt, and she ended up taking my temperature and prescribing an antibiotic for me, because *I* was sick, and hadn't quite realized it yet. (I just thought I was hot, and of course I was tired, I had an infant.) This was all in the military system. We had similar good fortune in the Indian Health Services clinics and tribal clinics in Oklahoma.
GirlWho hasn't had a regular pediatrician in quite a while. I take her to a walk-in clinic for physicals, immunizations, and sick appointments. If I needed a doctor for her for a specific reason, I'd consult my geneticist or physical med clinic for a referral.
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Permalink Reply by bethany on -
We take Dani and Tori to the same family practice doc that we use. A good friend is a doctor, and he gave us some sage advice--when baby's sick at the pediatrician, mommy can't get treated...at a family care doc, mommy and baby can get treated. We've found lots of efficiencies by just having one family doc.
Sorry to hear about your loss--good luck in your search for a new provider.
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Permalink Reply by mcglory13 on -
Oh, what a shame. :(
We checked out our doctor based on recommendations for the practice, and then chose her because she was kind, treats us like intelligent people, is in a larger practice with other doctors who are also great if she's not available, and there is a night clinic run by nurses associated with the practice. We did get miffed with her when we thought she over reacted and ordered a series of expensive and traumatizing tests, but considering our kid's start in life, I don't intellectually blame her.
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Permalink Reply by TommysMommy on -
That's a terrible way to lose a doctor.
My last doctor but one up and moved back to South America. I was PISSED! But we really lucked out in a new female doctor who was taking for patients. And she recently left the clinic she was at, that I wasn't really happy with, to open her own practice. She doesn't have any partners yet which can be kind of dicey if she's busy but has an agreement with 4 other doctors with their own practices to be on call. So if you don't get her, you'll get someone else she trusts. Which is nice.
We all go to the same family practice. Himself had seen a pediatrician when he wasn't talking but otherwise, we're good with her. We've also had good luck with our local walk-in when our dr has been booked up. We took Himself once with an ear infection and they took one look at him (he was about 2-1/2) and pretended we had an appt so we could skip the walk-in line and get him on meds and home quick. I figured it was for their peace of mind too so they didn't have a very upset toddler who could scream at any moment in their waiting room!
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Permalink Reply by MamatothaMax on -
When we lived in Norfolk we would get assigned a primary doctor by Tricare who we see check up but they are part of a larger clinic with walk in hours for sudden stuff and immunizations.We'd get referrals out to specialists if needed and were usually in a position to pick from a pool.
But we recently moved back to my hometown (a pretty small town in a rural area) and our old family practice doctor took the boys and I back. I started out at this practice as a tween and grew up with one doctor. When he retired his patients were taken by a wonderful young doctor. She's known me since I was 18 and caught Mo and Max when they were born. Hopefully she'll be the one to catch the new baby when she's born.
While I don't trust all doctors I trust in my ability to ask the right questions and judge whether a doctor is right for me. Once that's decided I do trust the individual doctor.
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Permalink Reply by DLBK on -
We have a health care system that assigns doctors, but we do have some input. When I was pregnant I asked around and was recommended a pediatrician; she's fine, but I can't say I'm in love with her. We're lucky that my son hasn't had anything more serious than a cold, so any doctor will do. We're associated with a major research hospital, so if we need specialists we have a good group to pick from.
I was assigned to my primary care registered nurse, and I love her. I'm mostly healthy, so I've only seen her a handful of times, but I've enjoyed every appointment with her.
I've gone through a few OBs. They're good enough, but I haven't been impressed with any of them.
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