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A vent... about school
This is not intended to be a reflection on the teachers as individuals, but rather "the board", the administration, and the culture of bullshit that exists in our system.
When my oldest was 4, she could explain to you want interstellar meant, describe echo-location, and discuss with you the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
When she was 6, she could read articles in Popular Mechanics (if it was about the Mythbusters) and read The Horse and His Boy by herself and other than some trouble near the end with what order things happened in (the party split up) she did pretty well.
She has now gone to being a child who avoids reading anything harder than Junie B. Jones and can't answer a comprehension question about a passage she's read 5 times and had read to her twice.
And that's just her struggles in reading. Again, at 5 she could answer simple word problems, she's now back to having trouble circling items on a page in groups of 3.
But the board says "oh no, this child gets perfect B-average, just where we want her, nice and average."
Does that sound like an average child to you? We have paid to have the testing done the board looks at it, shrugs and says "well these results should make you very happy. Your child is quite bright."
Do bright children have trouble finding the U in an alphabetical line up while playing hangman? When the letters are in alphabetical order and the vowels are colored differently? Really, school board psychologist? Doesn't that sound like it might be a very simple task?
And the principal.... oh god this principal. A couple years out from retirement, let me tell you of this delightful woman's compassion.
Because it's no longer a requirement, this woman postponed the school lice check until the middle of the second week of school. So instead of a couple of kids going home, they had dozens, one of which was mine. When she couldn't reach me in 20 minutes (she left 3 messages in that time) she sent my daughter back to the classroom and told her to sit in a corner so that her lice wouldn't spread.
Took a few weeks for kids to stop treating her like shit over that one. And this is the woman I would have to go through to ask for a reassessment of my daughters situation. She came home with some particularly bizarre comprehension stuff this week that really highlighted for me... this is getting worse, not better.
I am so freaking mad right now I can't even describe it. This system has taken my bright, creative happy child and turned her into a child who refuses to think, can no longer do things she could do 4 years ago and avoids even the slightest hint of effort or focus.
And since there isn't non-religious private school in this province, nor is there enough money for me to quit my job and homeschool, we're fucked.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Mommy Monster on -
I'm so sorry Wook. Is it possible to go above the principle? I'm not sure how those issues work in my own county/state, much less your province, but I'm just trying to figure out how you might get around her. Somebody must be able to see what's going on with her. Can you get help from her pediatrician?
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Permalink Reply by Joe Mama on -
Wook - trust your instincts and keep pushing. You know your child better than anyone and have a long-range perspective that no one else can draw on.
Something to consider...Learning disabilities are normally identified by a significant gap between measured IQ and performance. Many REALLY smart kids with learning disabilities are able to compensate and end up with getting overlooked because they end up with nice, boring B's that are easy to disregard. Try the special ed teachers at school...and then try them again when they blow you off.
Good luck!
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Permalink Reply by Tea on -
I tried to post a response for over half an hour this morning but it didn't work. Hopefully, this time it will post.
Start by writing a letter to the principal documenting your top 3 concerns Request a written response within a week. If you don't hear back or don't like the response escalate to the school superintendant. if you don't get satisfaction there then talk to your trustee. After that comes the director of education. Be sure to keep a good paper trail.
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Permalink Reply by DLBK on -
I'm no expert, but it's clear that something is going on with your daughter. I'd keep pushing, as you don't have another choice. You can't give up on your child and her education. I'm sorry you're going through this.
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Permalink Reply by Floor Pie on -
I hear you! Where to even start? (Also, I'm totally jealous that your school does lice checks. Although that sucks beyond belief, the way they treated your daughter.)
The school psychologist at our old school really dropped the ball with The Boy, denying us special ed services in kindergarten because he was "bright," with the reassurance that he would "grow out if it." Grow out of Aspergers. Yeah, that happens. Anyway, he did apologize to me a year later when we were sorting out the whole mess, and he explained it like this: His job is to look for what services the school already offers, and then try to plug the kid into any of those areas. If the kid needs something that the school doesn't already have pre-fab ready to use, he claims his hands are tied.
What testing has she already had? You could have her evaluated by a real psychologist to see if a diagnosis of some sort is in order, and then once you've got a diagnosis in hand the school will take you seriously. Infuriating that it works that way, but there it is.
I remember hearing somewhere that gifted children have "spikey" development, which could explain why your girl was devouring challenging books at a younger age and is now a reluctant reader. The Boy was exactly the same way with sports. He could hit a pitch at age 2, was a playground daredevil, etc. Then all of a sudden, at around 4 or so, he wanted to stay indoors all the time. Now, at 7, he's only just now getting interested in athletics again.
Have you read A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children by James Webb? Very enlightening. I wish I had a good book to recommend about Twice Exceptional children (gifted + disability), but there's nothing amazing out there that I've found yet, even though it's actually quite common.
Good luck with it all. Dealing with schools is infuriating.
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Permalink Reply by wookie on -
Oh, we have a diagnosis (dyslexia, visual processing and auditory processing deficit), but the school board doesn't care because she's getting B's. To no small extent, I'm on my own with trying to figure out not only how severe things are and when we need to take action, but most of the intensive support will be on my own time.
Had a talk with the teacher, the teacher has the opposite opinion to mine. My daughter has apparently been taking great initiative in the classroom, buckling down and hopping onto the computer to get her stuff done (a 'soft' accommodation that she's allowed). She's cheerful, helpful and active in class. The teacher thinks my daughter is yanking my chain with the John McRae decaptiation story.
Now there has been a lot of social stuff going on (it's the tip of the iceberg of drama that is middle school). I don't know how to balance the new information. On one hand, I don't know what is happening in class. We have no progress reports, very little work comes home. The teacher is only one with that perspective. On the other hand, I have seen a deterioration in what she's doing at home, but is that more about ADD, mental and emotional exhaustion?
I will look into those two books, Floor Pie... they sound worth the read! I wish I knew what the f*ck was really going on. I am no stranger to over-reacting, especially if my pain levels are high which of course they are.
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Permalink Reply by Tea on
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Another book for your shelf would be "Exceptional children - Ordinary Schools" by Dr. Norm Forman. It is published in Ontario and speaks to our school system.
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Permalink Reply by wookie on
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That one I have, and it's been helpful in many ways, but we're stuck in the limbo of having a diagnosis but not meeting the critera (as the board has defined it) to be truly identified.
Tea said:Another book for your shelf would be "Exceptional children - Ordinary Schools" by Dr. Norm Forman. It is published in Ontario and speaks to our school system.
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Permalink Reply by ErinL on -
Wookie,
I'm a teacher in Ontario and here if a child has an identified "exceptionality" them she must have an Individual Education Plan (IEP). The IEP must have SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realisitic, timely)goals/expectations. There is an IPRC (Identification, Placement, Review Committee) with the SERT (Special Education Resource Teacher), the classroom teacher, the principal, the parents, social services (if necessary) and often the regional Special Education supervisor. At this meeting strengths and weaknesses are discussed based on the diagnosis and classroom and home observation. Goals are discusses and accommodations and modification of the curriculum are determined. Then the teacher and SERT prepare an IEP which the parent has to approve.
I think it's probably pretty similar in all provinces. The unfortunate reality is that the parent has to really advocate to get appropriate testing and IEPs. Also, the parent has to push to make sure the IEP is being followed. A teacher may have ten students with IEPs with very little help.
I hope this helps a bit. I wish I could homeschool too. My SK twins dislike school already, it's boring!
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Permalink Reply by wookie on
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Hey Erin, I've done all those things, I've paid for the appropriate testing, I've got the appropriate IEP, but unless it's convenient in the classroom and not a test setting, it's got no teeth. The board requires that a child be two levels below meeting requirements before identifying them as exceptional. We meet all the requirements BUT that one.
It's like the UN. Great idea. No teeth to follow through with.
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Permalink Reply by Lady Grey on -
My fifth grade teacher is a well-known (in the US) advocate and teacher of the twice-exceptional (he's won a lot of national awards and speaks all over the country). I've contacted him to ask for some references and whether he might have any suggestions on how to navigate Canadian public school systems. He said he'd pull some materials and get back to me this afternoon. I can forward you what he sends me. Are you on FB, by chance?
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