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The Heartbreak Of Unwanted Guest Turds
Dear Alternadad:
Why is it when any of my son's friends come over for a play date, they all seem to like to use my bathroom for Number Two?
Unlike adults, who tend to only poop in their home toilet or in the well-appointed lobby stalls of high-end hotels, kids will lay down the law just about anywhere that's convenient, including park restroom stalls usually frequented only by the insane or the extremely sexually repressed. And if your son's friends are anything like my boy, they take four to seven dumps a day, proudly announcing each one with an enthusiasm usually reserved for finishing a level on Lego Star Wars. Therefore, if they're at your house for any length of time more than an hour, odds are long that they'll squeeze out a Mr. Hankey.
That said, kids like to feel comfortable too. If you want to ward them off, try making your house smell like old vinegar or paint thinner or something equally repulsive. They won't come over as often, and may stay outside more when they do. But that would make your living space unpleasant, so you could also get a big, angry dog. Many children are terrified of dogs. Of course, then you'd be faced with another, even worse poop-related problem, so I would say just buy some air freshener (I like the orangey-smelling ones) and try to book as many away play dates for your son as possible.
Why is it when any of my son's friends come over for a play date, they all seem to like to use my bathroom for Number Two?
Unlike adults, who tend to only poop in their home toilet or in the well-appointed lobby stalls of high-end hotels, kids will lay down the law just about anywhere that's convenient, including park restroom stalls usually frequented only by the insane or the extremely sexually repressed. And if your son's friends are anything like my boy, they take four to seven dumps a day, proudly announcing each one with an enthusiasm usually reserved for finishing a level on Lego Star Wars. Therefore, if they're at your house for any length of time more than an hour, odds are long that they'll squeeze out a Mr. Hankey.
That said, kids like to feel comfortable too. If you want to ward them off, try making your house smell like old vinegar or paint thinner or something equally repulsive. They won't come over as often, and may stay outside more when they do. But that would make your living space unpleasant, so you could also get a big, angry dog. Many children are terrified of dogs. Of course, then you'd be faced with another, even worse poop-related problem, so I would say just buy some air freshener (I like the orangey-smelling ones) and try to book as many away play dates for your son as possible.
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Comment by Daddy Geek Boy on August 26, 2009 at 4:08pm
- Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiideeeeey ho!
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Comment by Ylimemagic on August 26, 2009 at 4:18pm - I really dislike cinnamon air freshener. Then it's like you have cinnamon scented poo. It helps nothing.
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Comment by Piebrothersmomma on August 26, 2009 at 4:37pm - And of course they use the whole damn role of tp, then the toilet gets clogged, then you have to go in to fix it and see a non-immediate family member's poo... Yuck!!
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Comment by Floor Pie on August 26, 2009 at 7:35pm - Bleah. This has not happened to us yet, but I'm sure it's coming. Bath & Body Works sells some nice room sprays that de-poopify the air pretty thoroughly without that "pooey flower" effect.
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Comment by Mamawho on August 27, 2009 at 5:05am
- It's also best to find out if the little friends have any toileting, uh, quirks before they spend the night. We've had one sleepover. I haven't quit twitching yet. And it wasn't the bedwetting I was marginally prepared for.
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Comment by jenra on August 27, 2009 at 8:43am - Hm. I'd been thinking of it like they were marking their territory. You know like with dogs.
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Comment by papaPost on August 31, 2009 at 3:43am - they actually have "fecal odor eliminator" at the Childrens Hospital of Philly where i work...i work in material distrobution, so i see it all the time. maybe i should take some home. haha
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